Adjusting to a new environment is never easy, especially for myself. This semester didn't start of in an ideal situation, but things eventually worked themselves out. I've dealt with depression and anxiety for a majority of my life, and mental illness is not something that most can easily come to terms with. Being a Christian, I love the saying, "Let go, and let God." The saying embodies one of my favorite verses of Scripture, and it happens to be the verse I used at my baptism:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6 NIV
Even though I'm a Christian, I am far from perfect. I struggle everyday with things that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Sometimes, it can be really difficult to let go of the control you have on your own life and allow someone else to choose your path, especially when you're in college. The peer pressure around you, and just the change in environment alone can make you want to just grab your life by the reigns and try to fix everything yourself. But the truth is (and hear me out before you jump to any conclusions), you can't control everything.
About two months ago, I joined Chi Alpha here at Virginia Tech, which is an on campus ministry. Over these two months, I've learned incredible things not only about myself, but about my relationship with the Lord, and about my relationships with others. I've grown more as a person in these last two months than I feel I have in the last two years I've been in college! Along with "Let go, and let God," another saying that I have recently learned is, "You must have faith, and step out of the boat."
One of the staff leaders of Chi Alpha here at Virginia Tech, Anthony, spoke to use during one of our large group worship sessions we have once a week. I could really feel the Lord working in my heart up to this point, but I wasn't sure what my next move should be. I knew that I had a call to serve, and to share the Gospel throughout the world. One night, Anthony had spoken to us about the time that Jesus had walked on water. He had shared with us Matthew 14:22-33, which reads:
"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."
The moral of this story is simply this: Have faith in the Lord. He will provide in all ways.
After that, the invitation to come forward was given, and worship music was played. I knew what I had to do next, and I felt so many overwhelming feelings in my heart that I all I had the strength to do was simply drop to my knees, pray, and cry. I thanked the Lord for giving me that comfort, and for reassuring me that what I felt I was being called to do was truly the answer. To begin this journey, I made the decision to attend the World Missions Summit, which is a conference for Chi Alpha held every 4 years. Missionaries from all over the globe are invited to share their testimonies with college students, and I couldn't be more excited to have to opportunity to hear from these incredible disciples of Christ. I also took a huge leap of faith. I stepped out of the boat, and I will be going on my first international mission trip to Rome, Italy. I will be traveling 4,698 miles away to share the Gospel with the people of Italy.
Answering a call from God is not always easy, and it truly does take a HUGE amount of faith to trust that He will provide for these things. The Lord has provided for me in ways I never would have imagined, and has made not only the things my heart desires possible, but the things He desires for my heart possible as well. I've learned to let go of my own control over things, and to let the Lord control my life. I come forward humbly, and sit at the feet of Jesus, ready to obey His commands.
"He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."" Mark 16:15
