I like to stay busy. Really busy. I don’t know why. If you know me, you know I’m always going. I have 18 hours of classes, and I work five (yes, five) jobs as well as being a volunteer and trying to do what I can for the organizations I’m a part of. I go from the moment I get up to the moment I hit the bed. Morning. Eat. School. Work. School. Work. Eat. Work. Homework. Sleep. Repeat. I’ve always known that I’m probably too busy, and all my friends never cease to tell me how worried they are for me, but I didn’t realize quite how busy I was until Spring Break rolled around, and I had nothing to do. So, I decided to write about it. These are the reasons why I like to stay busy.
1. I have a set schedule
I know how my day is organized based on what I have to do, not times. "Oh, yeah, I have an hour and 15-minute break between getting out of class and online tutoring." "I’m supposed to have my online meeting as soon as I get home from working with my professor." What time is that? Who knows. What time do I get out of class? I think 3:45…maybe. The point is that I'm able to know what I'm doing based on the things I do. When one of those things doesn't happen, my schedule gets thrown way out of whack. That's why I get so upset when a class gets cancelled. What do I do now? Like, c'mon man, you threw off my groove. *proudly boasts that I haven't missed one day of class this semester*
2. I don't have as much time to think
Now, this might sound like a bad thing. It's not like I don't think; I think about a lot of things. I think about how to analyze this book or poem I'm reading. I think about how to write this story. I think about how to help this student with their paper the best way or how best I can take this photo or which files should be thrown away and which should be kept. If I think about those things, I don't have to let my mind wander to think about other things. You know when you're laying in bed at night and your mind starts creeping away to think of all those dark, scary things? Or reminds you of all the things you've done or are doing wrong? I think about that stuff way too much. In fact, it's always there, whispering in the back of my mind. So, I like to stay busy. I like to keep other thoughts on my mind. I know that it isn't healthy to push those other thoughts away, but I don't want them to always be on my mind, so I occupy myself.
3. I feel productive
I love feeling like I'm doing something good. If I'm just sitting on the internet for hours, what's the point? I used to be like that. Productivity used to be watching eight seasons of a show on Netflix in a week. Once I watched the entirety of Supernatural in four days. Put that on my resume. However, as I've gotten older and farther into college, and dare I say it, adulthood *gasp* I've noticed that these things aren't productive anymore, and I hate feeling lazy. I hate sitting around. I hate knowing I'm not doing anything. I love the feeling of having a lot to do. Sure, it sucks sometimes, but for the most part, I love it. I love getting in bed at night exhausted and knowing I've used up every minute of the day (there aren't enough of those by the way).
4. I always have something to do
I. Hate. Being. Bored. I hate waking up, sitting down, and realizing I have nothing to do. This week, even though it was Spring Break, I didn't make any plans. No vacation plans, nothing, a whole week to just relax. Sure I had to work on like 15 papers, but not right away. I just wanted sleep and watch TV (I realized this past week that I hadn't turned on my TV once this entire semester). That worked for about half the day Saturday. Then I realized I needed something to do. By the end of the day, I had made plans with people at least once per day for the rest of the week to ensure I'd be going from start to stop even on my week off. So much for vacation (dare I say I actually miss my classes?). It's a good feeling though, always having something to do. I'm always tired, but at least I'm never bored!
So, there you have it, the main reasons why I like to stay busy. There are some downfalls. I never sleep. I'm always stressed. I don't have time to eat, and when I do it's junk food. I don't have time to take care of myself sometimes. But I always feel good about myself. It's like a puzzle, and I'm making all the pieces fit. I'm stressed about not being able to get done everything I have to do, but I'm more stressed sitting around and doing nothing. I don't know what I'm going to do once summer rolls around...probably clean/reorganize my room once a day until school starts back.
