I am hot and cold. I am on and off. I am high and low.

I have crippling anxiety that keeps me up at night but still wakes me up before dawn. I have anxiety that prevents me from saying "Hi!" but leaves me feeling guilty when I don't. I have anxiety that makes my palms sweat when talking to new people but makes me feel inadequate when I don't. I have anxiety that leaves me without an appetite but makes me fear turning back to my eating disorder when I skip a meal.

I have anxiety that makes living really hard. I have anxiety that steals the best parts of me and locks them away.

I've taken prescription drugs, taken up exercise regimes, turned to drugs/alcohol, talked until my mouth went dry, read self-help books, written until my hand cramped, and tried to deny it with all my might.

I've used every option in a vicious cycle in an attempt to cope with the anxiety. From over-exercising and under-eating to not being able to leave my bed. I have felt the highs of endorphins and the lows of depression. I've yet to find the solution to my anxiety. I've yet to understand the relentless voices and streams of worry that rush through my head.

But, I have learned to understand that I am not alone. I have learned that there others with high-functioning anxiety that somehow, someway, make it work. I am not the only one that can't sit still and focus long enough to finish assignments. I am not the only one that skips class due to anxiety. I am not the first person to wake up only to take sleeping pills in order to avoid the responsibilities of the day.

You are not alone, either.

Maybe it's due to a chemical imbalance, the result of a traumatic experience, kharma for past actions,or just plain unfair.

But, I like to think that our anxiety makes us special. It shapes us to be stronger, more resilient, and more determined. It drives us to seek help from others and inspires others to do the same.

Run your anxiety, don't let it run you.