Throughout my childhood and half of my teenage years, I always considered myself to be the "bigger person" and was always the person not only giving people chances time after time but also the person who put everyone else first over myself. This may seem like a good trait to have, but the fact of the matter is that I was a pushover. People would constantly take advantage of me because I let them, and it made me miserable.
I got to a breaking point and seemingly overnight I did a 360. I stopped crossing oceans for people who wouldn't dare cross a river for me, and I started putting myself first. As a result, there were many things that changed in my life, but for the better.
After I stopped letting people take advantage of me, I lost friends.
When you finally decide to choose yourself first over everyone else, you will end up losing some 'friends' along the way. I use friends hesitantly, as these people I am referring to were never your real friends in the first place.
Pushovers always have toxic people latched onto them, as these people know they can take advantage of a pushover's kindness. Ever notice those people only come around when they need something from you? Either these people will simply disappear from your life when they realize they can no longer use you to no end, or you will have to cut them off from your life as I had to do with many fake friendships.
But I also gained a lot of confidence in myself.
When I was a pushover, I had very low self-esteem. People were constantly using me and it made feel bad about myself. I felt as though I was worth nothing to have these people treating me so poorly.
However, when I started putting myself first, it, in turn, boosted my confidence. I was finally standing up for myself and no longer allowing people to abuse my kindness. It felt great.
This made me become a lot happier.
The most important thing that will happen when you start putting yourself first is that you will become happier. No pushover is ever happy in the situation they are in because they never do anything for themselves. They are always making decisions to please others, regardless of how miserable it may make themselves. Making decisions for yourself, however, will lead you down a much more enjoyable path in life.
Making the leap to start putting yourself first can be very difficult. It took me years to finally choose myself over everyone else, as I felt as though I had no real worth. It's hard to get advice from others too, as my real friends or family members would often provide me with the advice to "just stand up for myself" not realizing how hard that is when you spend your life "forgiving and forgetting" and avoiding confrontation.
If you find yourself in this same situation that I was in, keep in mind you ARE worth it. You deserve the best, so don't let anyone stand in the way of your happiness.
