We, as modern humans, love Starbucks coffee. We have our regular orders that we place mostly every morning. Here’s what your order says about you:
White Chocolate Mocha: you drink this just to say that you drink coffee, even though it is 99 percent sugary additives that aren’t coffee. Seeing as this is the most expensive drink on the entire planet, you strive to perfect this drink at home because you hate leaving the house.
Peppermint Mocha: you ooze Christmas. You start decorating for it around Halloween and Christmas socks are a year-round must-have. Your ringtone is a Christmas jingle 24/7 and your firstborn will be born on Christmas and her name will be Holly, it just has to happen.
Herbal Teas of any Kind: you’re only going to college because your parents are making you, you don’t really “believe in the institution of it.” You had dreadlocks for a while and everything you own is organically grown and made. Your favorite class is probably your Environmental Ethics class because the professor just gets you and you just recently gave up on trying to convince your friends to go vegan.
“Skinny” anything: you’re trying to convince yourself and others that you’re dieting when really dieting makes you hate yourself a little. The shot of espresso you request in your drink is just because between all of the dieting and self-loathing, you’re exhausted.
Double Espresso Anything: You haven’t slept since you were six years old.
And the one everyone’s been waiting for:
Pumpkin Spiced Latte: you’re basic and you’re proud of it. The pumpkin spiced latte was invented specifically for Ugg boot wearing, OMG saying girls that scan their iPhones to pay for their orders. Your fall season extends from September 1 to whenever the first snow is. You’re already getting Hunter boots for Christmas (you picked them out) and Bonus points if you’re wearing PINK apparel right now. Double bonus points if you’re ordering one right now.
