Many students date during their high school years, but what happens to the couples after grad night? After high school, adult life begins and hard decisions arise. For couples going to different universities, it seems there are only two options: break up or give long distance a try. Although long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, they can be rewarding in the long run. Based on my own experience, there are six stages in a successful long-distance relationship.

1. You miss each other so much that you cannot function.

Ah, the first stage. It is both the most painful and the most passionate. You both love each other more than you thought was possible and each of your hearts ache with longing. During this time is when you both try to be the most optimistic about the relationship’s future. You plan visits, send heartfelt care packages, and communicate over social media nearly 24/7. You might feel depressed or apathetic because you are adjusting to a huge lifestyle change.

2. It is difficult for you to stay involved in each other’s lives.

As a couple, you need to work out how and when you will take time to connect. Social media and texting don’t count as meaningful communication! Video chat or phone call are the best options. You need to compare schedules, find a time that you both consistently have free, and make a habit of using this time to connect with your partner. If you don’t connect regularly, then you will notice a larger emotional distance between the two of you.

3. You notice more and more “issues” with your significant other.

You begin to see your significant other for who they are without infatuation clouding your eyes. This can be a rude awakening, and you will argue more often. Sometimes the arguments are constructive and your relationship deepens, but sometimes the arguments are petty and divisive. You need to actively choose to fall back in love with this person after you know all of the traits that make them human.

4. You begin to wonder if the relationship is worth it.

At this stage, the relationship becomes challenging to maintain. You question why you are dating them. Do your future plans line up? Will your effort pay off? All of these big questions are brought to the forefront after high school, and you may find that your significant other has a different vision for his or her life. Also, a person in your life that you see every day will probably begin to look more attractive. You might even find yourself feeling more attracted to the new person than to your significant other. Only having virtual access to each other begins to take a toll. Stage four is often where the relationship is ended or commitment is renewed.

5. You begin to rebuild the passion, but you need to adjust to the fact that the honeymoon stage is over.

Remember those exciting, passionate feelings that you felt at the beginning of the relationship? Back when you thought that this person was perfect and he or she could do no wrong? Those feelings will never return in the same way. You will rebuild passion, but your love will be deeper and more meaningful. It is also helpful to realize that when you are apart, you romanticise the relationship in your head. When you actually see your significant other after an extended time apart, it may not be fireworks and movie quality romance. On a happy note, your arguments become shorter and easier to resolve because you have refined how you communicate; you have learned a lot about each other and about the logistics of communicating with another person.

6. You realize that your significant other is growing.

This last stage will prepare you for life as a couple. You need to accept that the person you started with on day one of dating will not be the person that you are dating on day 1,000; people grow and change. You have just taken your first steps into adulthood and a lot of personal maturation is coming your way. During long distance, you are living in different environments with different challenges and input, so you may be growing in different ways than each other. After you accept that you are both continuously growing, you can try your best to grow together.