If there is one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s that Internet is life. What can’t you find on there? Nothing. Because it has everything from Trivia Crack answers to quality articles (hint hint). The one item that we have to thank for allowing us to enter this magical world of information is our laptops. They are the not-officially-required, but passive-aggressively-required tool to own in college. Which is why when our laptops start having issues, we stress. Maybe it has random connection issues. Or maybe you fell asleep watching Netflix and accidentally pushed your laptop off the bed causing the touch screen to crack and become unusable. It happens. Either way, having a malfunctioning laptop is essentially the end of the world. On the off chance that you have my sort of luck, here is how to cope with the grief.
Deny it. It was only a 4-foot fall, how broken can it be? Plus, it fell on top of the discount rug you got from Target. That’s plenty of cushion. I’ve seen 4-foot third graders fall, and they managed to get back up and keep living their lives. Why should your laptop be any different from a third grader? Maybe that cracked screen isn’t even from the fall. It was probably something else, like measles. Vaccinate your children please.
Connect and disconnect from the school’s Wi-Fi obsessively. It doesn’t help that 50,000 other students on campus use the Wi-Fi all at the same time. Which is why most of us are used to the school Wi-Fi being glitchy sometimes. This could be one of those times. Just disconnect it again; it might work now.
Turn it off and on again. Don’t forget to do it obsessively also. It might just work.
Cry and accept your fate. You’ve reached the point where rational thought has finally managed to find its way to the front of your thought process. Unfortunately, with this rationality comes the realization that fixing your laptop is out of your control. This is where the crying hysterically part comes in.
Mentally prepare yourself to drop $500+ to fix whatever is wrong with your laptop. As they say, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or a free computer repair job that could save you enough money to be able to feed yourself for the next two months. Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket.
Lose the lottery. You shouldn't have wasted your money on that ticket, everyone knows the lottery is a rip off.
Realize you don’t have $500. You are a broke college student. If you could pay with loan debt, you would, happily and without regret. Sadly, we do not live in that world. And you still don’t have $500. Thanks Obama.
Mentally prepare yourself to ask your parents for $500. They bought you that laptop. That means they can fix it too, right?
Procrastinate from asking your parents for money. It’s the worst. Try to put it off for as long as possible.
Laptop magically starts working again. Results may vary.
