It's summer. The sun is bright, it's probably humid, and hopefully you're not putting yourself through the torture of summer classes. The calendar is open to you, and if you're smart--or maybe desperate--you'll do your best to fill them with hours upon hours of work. But before you can sell your soul to an employer, you need to get the job. This is something that I am having a little bit of trouble with, and yesterday I filled out about 20 job applications. Some might say that the application is the hardest part, and I can definitely agree, so I made this listicle, because I'm sure all of you feel my pain.
1. I've written my name so many times it doesn't look real anymore
From the actual résumé to the job application, you're going to have to write your name at least three to five times, and that's only for one application. It's like they don't trust you and are waiting to see some different spelling from one instance to the next.
2. Why are they asking for my social security number? Am I supposed to know this? Probably.
Now I have to go and search through my mom's filing cabinet because I still haven't written it down somewhere more convenient.
3. Just gonna finesse my résumé before I upload it
Did I work here for two months? No. Do they need to know that? No.
4. Work experience? Well, I put it on my résumé, but I guess I'll put it here too.
Now, there are some places that will automatically upload the information, but chances are they got it wrong, and you'll have to reenter everything anyway.
5. No, you may not contact my former employer
I don't even have their phone number, but chances are they wouldn't remember. One time I went in to get my paycheck a week after I quit, and the owner didn't recognize me.
6. Education? Funny, I included that in my résumé too!
Please excuse me while you are forcing me to relive my high school years as I fill in this information.
7. Seriously, why even ask for a résumé if you're going to have me rewrite every. Single. Thing.
Do you even look at it? I mean really?
8. Please don't make me do a quiz, oh there's a quiz
And you can't even skim through it and agree with everything, because they throw in bad questions to trick ya, and before you know, you'll be saying that you heavily favor grand theft.
9. I really hate people, but if I say that, then I won't get hired. So yes, I am definitely a people person! And a team leader! And I do not feel complete unless I am always talking to a person!
Let's just make this clear: the person on that answers these questions and my actual human self are completely different.
10. I don't even know I want this job at this point, but please give me this job. Any job.
I started out applying to retail, and now I'm considering being a truck driver, so I've absolutely gone down the pit of no return.
