Spring Semester As Told By The Cast Of 'Archer'
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Spring Semester As Told By The Cast Of 'Archer'

Something something... danger zone.

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Spring Semester As Told By The Cast Of 'Archer'

The cast of "Archer" is full of drunken degenerates set on partying all day and doing their work only when they absolutely have to. Sound familiar? Your spring semester may have more in common with these secret agents than you might have previously thought.


Whether you partied your winter break away or caught up on your favorite Netflix shows, you got used to not having to do that annoying thing called "going to class." Classes may have just started but you're so done, so instead of paying attention in class like a good student, you go to class, sign the attendance sheet, and then dip.

If you do stay in class, you're more likely to be hate-stalking your ex than you are to be actually taking notes.

Now that you're back, you're free to terrorize the local bars once again. Happy hour, you have been missed.

Except that your month-long sabbatical means that your liver grew unaccustomed to crappy bottom shelf liquor, the ultimate college staple, so you promptly die.

After syllabus week, you tell your friends you're actually gonna buckle down, do your work, go to class, and quit drinking, but they are ... less than enthusiastic. Especially at the "quit drinking" part.

So despite your solemn vow, you happen to find yourself out at the bars the very next night.

And you decide, "Screw it, plenty of people can drink and pass their classes... right?"

Meanwhile, in the classes that you (sometimes) go to, your professor decides to bore you with tales of their life outside of the classroom, as if you, like... care.

And when they're not regaling you with tales of their cat or whatever, they're trying to ruin your life by committing the worst sin known to man... assigning group projects.

You get assigned to your group, and you pray that they're not complete idiots. But God isn't fond of degenerates so he decides to punish you, and guess what? Your group is comprised solely of idiots.

In an effort to save your grade, you decide to just do all the work yourself and save yourself the hassle.


In a last ditch effort to forget the group project trauma, you decide to continue the vicious cycle and drink your sorrows away.

Your life is also a constant struggle of trying to get in shape for whatever your spring break plans are, so you either eat too little,

or you stress-binge and eat too much.

After weeks of partying too hard and too often, your financial aid fund has run dry, so you're forced to bed the parents to send some cash before you die (or worse, get sober).

Thanks to the cold weather, all your friends are cuddling with their baes and getting into relationships, but you're stuck dealing with your on-again-off-again "I don't know what to call this relationship" thing, which means you probably aren't making the ... best decisions, romantically.


You're at that stage where you drunk text your sometimes-bae at 3 a.m., 50 times in a row until you fall asleep crying into your Taco Bell.


So, all in all, a completely normal semester! All that's left to do now is survive until spring break, and then get ready to do it all again in fall.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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