As spring is finally starting to approach, my mother keeps mentioning “spring cleaning,” during which we tear apart our home, sort through the unnecessary things and trash what we no longer need. This spring that isn’t the type of cleaning I had in mind; why only clean up material things instead of ourselves? Since July I’ve been on a journey to cut out the unnecessary evils in my life, and the difference has been astounding. Not only do I feel better, but I am thriving in an environment I hadn’t before; I had let so many things build up that it started to take a toll. So, ladies and gents, I present to you what we really should be cleaning out this spring.
Two-Timing/ Negative Friends
This is one of the things that has made the most difference in my life. Surrounded by negativity I said goodbye to about four really close friends, one of them being my significant other. Now I am in no way saying to go and break off your friendships or end your relationship, but what I am saying is do not let others have so much power over your life. The people we surround ourselves with is what we pick up and surrounded by so much negativity I became very cynical, which anyone will tell you isn’t me. It affected my performance in school, drained me mentally, and I was stumbling so fast I couldn’t catch myself. Say goodbye to being a doormat, and if they don’t like that then say goodbye to them and watch how your life will go up from there.
Break the Bad Habit
As a way to cope with stress sometimes we pick up bad habits, maybe not so bad but taking the easy way out. Such as hitting that fast-food place because it was just quicker, when I get stressed I like to bite my nails. What I started doing then was to get my nails done instead, not only does the product on my nail prevent me from biting (because its nasty and I learned that the hard way) it was a way to pamper myself without being to overindulgent. This spring break your bad habit with a healthy one that will boost you and your confidence! Don’t simply believe in quitting cold turkey, it will work better with a more noticeable difference if you replace it with a better habit!
Self- Hate
We are all too hard on ourselves! This is the time of our lives where we make the most mistakes and that’s okay as long as it’s not hurting anyone, it’s all part of the learning experience. The one thing that does hurt us and others is our self-hate. As I mentioned before I cut some toxic friends this is why I cut one, she was so overly critical of herself she was never satisfied. Even after hour conversations about why she mattered and really how beautiful of a person she was, she was never convinced and that started to toll on me. I started to wonder if all these things she had said about herself applied to me and I became jumbled trying to figure out if these were my feelings or not. (Really her issue was guilt, she’d been doing hurtful things behind another’s back and compensated by hating herself instead of changing her actions.) Don’t be so hard on yourself, everyone else is just as jumbled as you even if they don’t look like it. Promote yourself, raise yourself up, and treat yourself to something nice instead of hating an imperfection or being critical.
Societal Norms
WOOOOO COLLEGE LETS GO TO THAT FRAT RAGER AND GET CRUNK!!! (See that’s not me because ya’ll are probably like she just said crunk wasn’t that a 90’s word or is she just that uncool??) I feel like this is exactly what people think of when someone says they are attending school, even comments are made “AH! I remember college, don’t get into too much trouble!” or “BEST FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE!” Make your own norm, because really what’s normal is what’s comfortable to you. NOT compromising your personal beliefs for acceptance. If you go out that’s cool, power to you! If you like to curl up every evening at 9pm for a goodnight’s sleep, POWER TO YOU! We need to stop thinking and criticizing what normal is, normal is whatever makes you comfortable. Cut out what others think of you, because at the end of everyday its you who has to live with yourself. Screw what anyone else has to say, just be yourself and be happy being uniquely you.
Acceptance of Consequences
No good change ever comes without the acceptance of personal responsibility. Look at your life and take responsibility for what has put you in this place. Have you procrastinated and that’s why you are now snapping on your friends? Did you go to bed late and woke up angry because of lack of sleep? Acknowledging these things is the key to change, every action has a reaction and sometimes that’s a consequence; however it’s not always out of our control even though it may seem that way. Note these things, set aside time for self-evaluation or meditation and ask yourself how you can change your day tomorrow instead how bad today was! Stay positive and work towards your future instead of trying to turn back time.
