Let me get something clear — I am a pre-med undergraduate student, which means I have signed my soul to the dark lord of this field: Medical School. Everything that I have done so far or am currently doing is so I can get into medical school and become a fantastic surgeon without-borders. This also means I have little-to-no time for leisure or time off.

For example, while all of my other friends were getting shwasted and frolicking around during Spring Break 2017, I spent the sweet time getting my wisdom teeth yanked out of my mouth. This is purely because I am graduating early, and I have no other time to fit this procedure into my schedule, so I gotta do what I gotta do.

Now, I go in the operation room to get my teeth pulled out, and they put these oxygen tubes up my nose which severely burn. I took them off as subtly as possible and put them back in as soon as a nurse stepped in to check on me. Then they gave me a blanket, and as soon as I was warm and comfy, my surgeon snuck in. He slowly inserted the needle into my veins and administered the anesthesia — and I swear to god he smirked at me! I honestly believe that he felt some sort of sick happiness by doing it (or maybe he was just looking forward to the paycheck he would receive after he finished the procedure).

The whole surgery lasted 45 minutes tops. I woke up on a couch and immediately started asking everyone where my damn teeth were because I really wanted them as souvenirs. Too bad my surgeon didn't give a sh*t about them and threw them all out. That was the saddest moment of my life.

Another 15 minutes later, my mother and I were at the mall.

I thought to myself, "How the hell did we end up here, and why am I not in bed?" I mean, it wasn't like I just got out a major surgery or anything, right, Mom?

Finally, to make things worse, my mom lost me at the mall, and then found me talking to some random stranger outside of a store. She quickly pulled me by my arm and took me to another store. (It is important to note that I had tried to communicate with numerous people while I had bloody gauze in my mouth; it definitely freaked out a lot of people.) We then went to one more store, and I finally told my mom I was feeling really sick and that I should probably go home. She decided to buy me juice to shut me up, and it worked!!! Another couple hours later, I was home!

Flashing forward: Currently, I am throbbing in pain, but I have learned three valuable things that I want to pass on to those who will go through this trauma in the near future:

1. I will probably never bring my mom with me as my primary chaperone for any surgeries I have done in the future. (Mom, I love you, but you cray-cray.)

2. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT look into the eyes of your oral surgeon right before your surgery unless you really want to creep yourself out.

3. Finally, drinking fruit juice really helps for cotton mouth for post-wisdom teeth extraction.

Now I await the moment that I can indulge in all the crunchy goodness after I heal. I'm really looking forward to eating a bowl of cereal and some damn Sun Chips!