As Winter break draws to a close and the first semester of the new year commences, the only thing on a college student's mind (besides how poor and hungry they are once again) is Spring Break. Masses of students make hotel reservations and house rentals and head down to the shoreline to get tan, dip a toe in the water, and turn everything they touch into trash. The price of Victoria's Secret swimsuits seem to double in a matter of 24 hours, coolers and paint become unusually hard to come by, and oh my god, I've never seen this many people at the gym before. But in this amount of time, as the weather gets warmer and the days get longer, people begin to show their true colors - it seems as if almost everyone can fall into a stereotype when it comes to Spring Break preparation habits.
Dieting:
There are three types of dieters that begin to emerge once Winter hibernation ends:
The person that shows up to the gym on January 1 and registers for a 6-month membership. This person will form an entirely new group of temporary friends until the day they leave for the beach, due to the fact that they are too anxious to make their first few trips to the rec center by themselves. You'll see this person again once classes end - as opposed to the gym, who won't be seeing them until the beginning of the next new year.
The one who ends up with the most money in their pockets by the time break rolls around, because they eat a saltine cracker or two only at the sound of their stomach growling. With this strategy, one saves money and a small amount of weight; however, they are going to crawl through Spring Break and barely scrape past the finish line. If you are not one of these people, do not aspire to be - I promise, the large pizza you just ordered for yourself will somehow be worth it in the end.
The friend who doesn't make an attempt at dieting. While their other friends are shopping around for protein bars and celery (because no calories, duh), this person is probably laughing. You will often hear them say "Well, that was my workout for today," after walking to class or laughing too hard. A girl with this mindset will convince herself that a good swimsuit top will be enough to draw one's eyes away from any crunches they might've missed all semester, and also probably have enough confidence to convince everyone else on the beach the same thing.
Tanning:
There are three kinds of these people as well, some who might even be newborn gym rats, like the ones previously mentioned:
The fake-tanner. This person spends at least $50 a month on lotions, memberships, and (probably) Crest Whitestrips. Their goal is to be as tan as possible before hitting the beach, so that they unintentionally end up a raisin only a few short months later. Do not tell these people about the risks and dangers of the tanning bed (because they probably already know) or how orange tanning lotions and gels end up looking on the skin (because they probably don't care).
The One Who Waits. A friend like this does not fake tan before break begins, but they will arrive to the beach with a bronzing tanning oil that lacks SPF. They want the deepest tan lines possible and a real-life sunburn, peeling skin and all. People like this are dangerous, so if you see one passed out on the beach at some point this Spring, at least make sure they're lying in a decent sunbathing position.
The person who listens to their mother. This person brings sunscreen to their beach house and actually remembers to apply it before going out. They probably also carry a backpack full of snacks and water with them on their way out, and get made fun of for it when they're with their friends. If you are this person, please understand that we all think you're boring and will probably rob you of all the nutrients you packed in your carry-on; but in the end, we're all incredibly jealous of how strong you are.
Budgeting:
In the midst of all the tanning and dieting for Spring Break, you'll often see yourself and all your friends fall into one of these three categories of budgeters, too:
The one who arrives to the beach without funds, and leaves with $300 of debt on their shoulders. This is the friend who forgets their debit card whenever everyone leaves to grab dinner. They spend the week wearing everyone else's clothes and repeating the phrase "I'll pay you back as soon as we get back on campus." Don't believe this person, and don't let them make you feel bad for not buying their mother a souvenir when they ask you to. They will marry rich and probably end up unhappy after realizing that paying for yourself sometimes actually gives you a sense of self-worth.
The friend who gets a job - and doesn't stop talking about it. This person probably made all the Spring Break reservations and was in charge of deciding all of the plans for that week. They finalized a hotel room, made the security deposit, and then immediately drove to the mall to apply for jobs. They will complain about their job for the entire time that they have it, but what'll make you even angrier is how much money they end up having by Spring Break. Do not ask these people for financial help, because they deserve all that they worked for, and they've probably already done enough for you by now.
The person whose parents supply their funds, and probably yours, too. They'll become your best friend for the week that you're living on the beach, and shots will be on them every time you're at the bar. While everyone else is living off of bread and free continental breakfasts, this person is buying fresh fruit and seafood. This person knows that they are #blessed, so be nice to them and say "thank you" when they cover your bar tab.
