Dear Mom,

I used to let the world define what I was made of, how strong I was, and sometimes even how smart I was. I lived for the labels at one point, and what the world thought of me; failing to ever realize what I ever really thought about myself. Then one day it hit me...

I look back now and I realize that when I was little, I was made to follow the rules, made to participate in activities regardless of my judgment. God forbid if I ever tried to ignore a kid on the playground after a teacher said to play with them. I realized a lot of my life was being shaped and molded for me almost my entire life. When the world said the good ole' days are over, I looked back at my wings and realized I wasn't ready. For a while I stood there, stagnant; frustrated with the world.

The world said times up and I realized that what I had been searching for my whole life, was the same thing that had been taking me over mentally. And sure at that age, I didn't know any better. My upsets were breaking a favorite toy, and my happy moments were jumping on the bed in the morning before school or going to the playground. As I got older, I kept telling myself that I didn't want to grow up. My upsets got bigger, as I got bigger, and my happy moments made my entire week worthwhile. I experienced breakups and losses and felt crushed, and I prayed to God the sting would only feel as if I'd just broken one of my favorite toys. But the world settled and laughed in my face, and when something happened that made me smile I would go around telling the whole world.

Fast forward a few days, months, years, and I realized that life feels like I've been blinking nonstop. I have missed countless numbers of opportunities that were important to me. But through it all, I continued to pray to God, that I could go back and at least take a look around. I prayed to God that I'd see that stranger again at the coffee shop. And I pray that every time I have to tell you "see you later", that I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and a sloppy kiss, because no one thinks its embarrassing to spread love at this age. I hope that someday I will be able to fully realize that this journey I am going to embark on, is everything you have already been through. And I hold myself accountable to always keep you as a phenomenal character in my ever-changing story. Ever since I met you on that day, I know I have been a part of your entire world. You picked me up when I fell, and loved me even when I did something that hurt. You watched me pretend I could take on the entire world, and you smiled at my huge imagination. You worried for me, and I rolled my eyes. I never understood why but as I got older, your worries started to get bigger, and I started to want out of that firm grip. And that's when we both realized that it was time to put the dusty wings on my back to good use. From the first moment, you never failed me, you never gave up on me, even with my crazy antics. You have never stopped loving. You taught me that it is okay to love too hard, and care too much. Those are one of the few risks in life that I will need to take. Even though neither of us are ready to let go now, I want you to know that I will always try and copy some of the ways you do life. I will do stupid things, and make dumb mistakes, but I will always try and do life big. But most importantly, I will always love you and what you have sacrificed for me, no matter how close or far I am, because love knows no distance.