Halloween is upon us, everyone (insert spooky laugh here). Just to get us all super-duper excited for this holiday, here's a trip down memory lane back to the Halloween of our childhoods, where jack-o-lanterns were aglow and there was actually time to view the Thirteen Nights of Halloween on ABC Family (let's not even talk about Freeform). Hopefully, nostalgia ensues at the mention of the following childhood Halloween experiences.
1. Attempting to carve a pumpkin with a template far too intricate for your artistic ability and attention span .
You could have chosen to cut out three triangles and a toothy grin for a simple jack-o-lantern, but what fun is that? There are no bragging rights tied to a glorified smiley face. Instead, you chose to do the hardest, most finicky design possible -- the one with sharp turns, small cut-outs, and delicate details (in my case, this was an elaborate haunted house. Every year. Without fail). Your parents probably urged you against this choice, but you convinced them that yes, you would have the patience to finish it. Of course, this was a total lie. After gutting, scraping and template tracing, there was little energy left to perform meticulous knife maneuvering. If you were lucky, one of your parents would take over the job (although you would claim credit for their handiwork later). If you were not lucky, you would muster up all the tenacity you had and finish carving that pumpkin, swearing you would never try to do such a tricky pattern again (but when the next Halloween rolled around, you know you did anyways).
2. Celebrating Halloween at school with a class party.
Elementary school on Halloween was fun. You got to dress in your costume. Candy was handed out. Construction paper crafts were done -- jack-o-lanterns and black cats and such. Monster Mash played in the background. Yes, you looked forward to school on Halloween. Even if you did have to do math, it was likely to incorporate counting candy corn. If only it was still like that in college…do you think candy bars can be integrated into calculus?
3. Strategically mapping your trick-or-treating route for optimal candy collection.
Once dusk hit, you had to be prepared to get out the door. There was a two-to-three-hour window of prime trick-or-treating and always the risk that candy would run out before then. If you were a true candy connoisseur, you charted a route to work to your advantage based off of past data collection. First, you started with the houses that were very generous with their candy (everyone knew which house gave out full-size bars, and you had to get there first, to assure you received one). Next, a general loop of the neighborhood designed to hit as many houses in as short a time period as possible. This probably included the most populated stretches of the neighborhood and utilized time-conserving tactics such as shortcuts through the park. Last were the houses that you knew (again, based on past data) would be open late -- the coolest of the neighbors. One day, you told yourself, you would be the cool neighbor.
4. Exchanging a cute, plastic, Halloween-themed candy bucket for the more mature pillowcase.
The true sign that you were growing up. All the older kids used pillowcases, not the small, impractical pumpkins. Although admittedly festive, they just did not have the capacity to carry the amount of candy you aimed to collect without at least three trips back to your house. So when you switched over to a pillowcase, yeah, you felt like a professional trick-or-treater.
5. Wearing snow pants, winter coat, a hat, and gloves under your costume.
Of course, you argued with your parents on this one. The usual excuses were ensued: “I don’t get cold,” or “It’ll ruin my costume” were the classics. Your parents wouldn’t budge. You were so annoyed. Your costume was not nearly as believable with those bulky layers underneath. Was your mom (or dad) unaware that ballerinas/superheroes/Hermione Granger didn’t wear down jackets? Geez. But secretly, by the end of a long evening on the streets, you were glad for the extra clothing, because while your best friend was freezing and ready to call it a night, you were actually pretty toasty (not that you would tell your parents that, ever).
6. Sneaking candy when your parents weren't looking.
The candy bowl was stashed above where you could reach, most likely, and required the use of a stool. You would wait until your parents went to the bathroom, or were preoccupied on the computer, and quietly, very quietly, would drag the stool below the stash. You would sneak an extra piece or two, even though you had already had your allotted amount for the day. Carefully, you would hide them in your pocket, return the stool to its original position, and dash up to your room to enjoy your tactfully-taken treat.
7. Having a piece of candy in your lunchbox for the next month.
This was a classic. For nearly the whole month of November, you would have a little memento of Halloween packed in with your sandwich and juice box. It was an especially good day if the candy turned out to be your favorite kind (Twix days were good days, people). Around the lunch table, your friends could compare who got what and maybe, if it was mutually beneficial, you could engage in some trading to get the type that you really wanted.
