Did you open this article assuming I would go on and on about receiving 100 percent attention from my parents and getting everything my heart desired? For good measure, both of these are overwhelming untrue.
I'm sure there are plenty of only children who grew up extremely spoiled and catered to by their parents, but I would argue that there are plenty of children with siblings who had the same upbringing. Yes, I'm spoiled, but not in the way you'd expect. I'm spoiled with friends who became family, a wealth of knowledge and an out-of-this-world imagination.
A lot of people have a preconceived notion of what it means to be an only child, and that's okay. Luckily for you, I won't be ranting on and on about how wrong society can be when it comes to only children. I'm here to tell you, from first-hand experience, how it has been one of the most challenging yet beautiful experiences I've ever had.
1. I'm an honorary member of your family.
All of my best friends growing up had multiple siblings—I'm talking two or more other than themselves. As my mom was a single parent, I spent plenty of school nights, softball trips and Thanksgivings with families other than my own. It opened up my world to the life of siblings without ever getting too close—unless we're talking about the Basham family where I was always the fifth child. When I was with my friends and their parents, I wasn't catered to because I was "the guest," I was treated as one of their own.
For a while, I found spending time with families that aren't mine challenging. But as I grew older, I realized just how lucky I was to gain the intelligence, the perspectives, the harsh truths and the protectiveness of not only my own mother, but at least four other sets of parents. Those parents, to this day, remain some of my biggest role models and people I consider family.
2. I have an unlimited supply of life lessons.
I've always considered myself an old soul, but I owe a lot of that credit to the way I was raised. My mom is a "truth or nothing" kind of lady and she knew everything I did two weeks before I even did it. Without a sibling to blame on anything—laundry piles, who didn't unload the dishwasher or why something was broke—I had to take the fall for literally everything. And when she was working funky hours, I suddenly was in charge of making my own dinners and sometimes picking up groceries on my way home from practice. Although annoying as a 16-year-old, I now realize that some aspects of life that are second nature to me now are all because I had to learn the hard way at a very young age. Do you know what steps to take when the toilet starts overflowing or your car starts smoking?
I was forced to struggle through groundings, family gatherings and terrible ideas—I once had all of my friends sign my bedroom wall with Sharpie—all by myself. I am proud to say I'm an independent woman, even if I had no choice in the matter.
"You're mature for your age."
"No, I'm just an only child."
If I wasn't with my friends, I was spending time with my mom, my grandparents or someone from the plethora of people that helped watch me. I was forced to have conversations with adults, often, which led to me understanding the process of life quicker than my friends.
At a very early age I was in tune with who I was and who I wanted to be, my hopes for the future and the fact that I didn't give a shit what other people thought. At times, this level of maturity made it hard to connect with people my age, but it really helped me gauge what direction I wanted to take in life.
The people I surround myself with now—some younger, some my age and some older—are people who have the same views, dreams and interests as me. For the record, some of them are only children, but most of them are not.
3. I have an off-the-wall imagination and an outrageous amount of optimism.
Considering my full-time job is in a creative atmosphere, a wild imagination and the ability to stay positive comes in handy more days than not. Starting a new program or pitching a new idea is my forte. I love perusing the internet looking for inspiration and jotting down ideas—no matter how drastic—whenever they pop into my head. My computer hard drive and note app on my phone are filled with half-started word documents and an overflow of quotes.
My imagination is always reaching unrealistic highs and relatable lows. I owe this to the fact that I played a significant amount of pretend growing up. My fantasy-lands were wildly intricate and incredibly detailed. I should have known I would work in the creative realm a long time ago.
4. I'm compassionate and in-tune those around me.
Maybe it has more to do with my zodiac sign, but being an only child made me vulnerable, yet understanding. From a young age, I was able to sync up with others' emotions and feelings. I would mold my approach, my responses and attentiveness to match the vibe of the person on the other end of the conversation.
My vulnerability shaped my perspective on what it felt like to be left out, how to make sure you weren't left out and how to react when I was, indeed, left out. I vowed to never let anyone ever feel like that. When you're sad, I'm here to listen. When you're excited, I'll celebrate with you. When you're interested in something, you can bet that I'll pick your brain and try to understand why.
As an only child, I very much need my "me time," but I have gained a desire to be around others, often. I want to talk through ideas, to debate about opinions, to share new insights and to gain a new perspective.
I'm here to chat, listen and debate whenever you're ready.
XOXO,
Your Only Child Friend
