We are conditioned from a young age to think about others first and foremost. Putting others ahead of our own wants should make us feel warm and tingly on the inside and encourage us to want to keep on giving. And this lesson I abided by for many years until I became weary of the noble notion. I am no Mother Theresa yet I have given my everything in multiple friendships, relationships, and bonds with family members. The day I put myself first, was the happiest I had been in years.

Don't get me wrong. We should care about each other. How can we aid in the protection of our planet? What can we do to put an end to social injustices, help the less fortunate and make a better society? But these are the causes I, and everybody else should care about. For years, my saint of a mother instilled in me that giving to others was always the right thing to do. I would go all out for birthday and Christmas presents for friends and family, spoil my boyfriends with little surprises, treat my best friends to lunches and put myself lower on the totem pole.

Then that shit got old, real quick.

Those friends would take advantage of the support or kindness I showed them. Asking me to do favors but never able to do so in return. I would be giving the same advice to the friend who could not get over her fling, but my problems were minuscule to her. Extravagant, thoughtful gifts would be returned with late, half ass gestures. Reaching out to family members became a chore that would never get completed on their end. I was never doing enough in my relationship with my significant other and was always expected to do more, be more. I became exhausted, depressed and left empty giving everything I could to those I thought loved me most. Those people would become mean and angry with me and I would let them. Then, I became utterly obsessed with loving and spoiling myself. Everyone became second to me. It was the best decision I ever made for myself.

Do you know how nice it is, having so many people depart from my life after I had stopped letting them walk all over me? I rarely reach out to people anymore. Those who want to talk, hang out or stay in my life have to make the effort to do so. I am not the class mom trying to organize play dates. Those who continue to reach out to me, are the ones I find the most genuine. Asking about my life, spoiling me to drinks and events and regularly keeping in touch. Those are the people that I treat in the same manner.

I do have a lot more alone time after focusing solely on me, and WOW, it is great. I treat myself to shopping, Starbucks, nice meals and taking little day trips. I work to make money for myself. I'm not married and sure don't have kids. The only responsibility I have is to take care of myself. I don't go out when I don't want to. I don't have to hang out with people that I don't care for. I do what works best for me and what I WANT and that is all that matters.

Subsequently, paying more attention to my own wants has made my life drama free. Never do I fret anymore about what Tiffany did for Rebecca and what I didn't think to do. What people think or say about me is, well ew. I don't care since that is not what Queen Me thinks. I finally stand up for myself and continue to grow stronger. Frankly, other's feelings are not that important to me anymore. If you are not trying to intentionally hurt me, I won't try to do the same. But that won't stop me from telling you that I think.

The things I have regret most in life are the things I did not do for myself. I should have gone to Paris. I should have boughten those shoes. I should have saved my money for something I really wanted instead of buying gifts for others. I should have just stayed home that night.

This is my time for me. This is my time to shine. It is all about me and damn, it has never been better.