I consider myself a Christian.

I go to a Christian university. I pray every night before I go to bed. I listen to Christian radio stations regularly. I believe in God. I was baptized by my own choice.

But yet, I feel as though I fall short of what a Christian looks like.

I sometimes just feel as though I am going through the motions, praying and reading my bible. I don’t feel the presence of the Holy Spirit as often as I used to.

I know I am not alone, that others go through the same thing that I am with their spiritual lives.

I am stuck spiritually.

Am I truly living my life as though a Christian should? We want to live like Jesus, but as humans, we fall short. I have made my fair share of mistakes and I continue to make them. I am stained with sin. I know I have God’s grace, but at times I wonder if I have ever used it up, as I continue to make the same mistake over and over again. I know this isn’t the case, but this doesn’t stop me from wondering. It doesn’t keep me from wondering if I am even “good enough” for him.

I pray and pray that God will show me what it is He wants me to do with my life, but I feel like there is no response. What is His will for me? What does He want from me?

But I am not giving up on Him, for I know He has not given up on me.

I am not worthy of his grace, but yet I still have it. Jesus paid the price for us all. Because of Him, all of us who are tainted with sin are able to experience God’s grace and never ending love for us. I cannot think of anything more awesome than that and that is what has kept me from giving up. I want to serve Him and live my life as He wants me to, because there is no possible way for us to repay Him for what has been given to us by Jesus’ sacrifice.

I know and have seen His greatness and I know that he has a plan for me and he has a plan for you.

I will continue to pray for guidance and continue to seek His glory. At the same time, I know I will continue to make mistakes, but it is up to me to want to break old habits. I have to want to follow Him and not just pick and choose what I want to follow; I need to give it my all. I may become impatient waiting for God’s answer, but I know I need to faith that it will come. I want a good relationship with God more than I want anything else and I know I have a lot of work ahead of me.

Yes, I am stuck spiritually. I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel worthy. But I know that God is on my side and will never give up on me.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.