Going home for Christmas break has to be the best feeling ever. After the stress of finals and the craziness of packing up your college dorm to return home for almost a whole month, the calm after the storm is very relaxing. My hometown is my favorite place, as it reminds me of growing up and how meaningful time with my family is after not seeing them as often.

Home is also where some individuals from my past with a not-so-good reputation reside. In some occasions, we do meet face to face. While catching up can be fun, the party stops when they ask me to hang out with them exclusively. This might sound rude or petty, but truth be told- sometimes people are just not worth my time.

I say this because Christmas break is supposed to be a break and a joyful time to spend with family and (very) close friends. Year after year of unnecessary drama can definitely be avoided. Call me selfish, but I do not wish to deal with this during Christmas. I am not saying that I am not okay with burying the hatchet and properly addressing issues, but I barely have three weeks for Christmas. Most of this time is spent with my family, so I do not wish for my time to be compromised.

I can only give so many chances before my head starts to hurt and I deal with regret. I do not have time for so-called friends who say that they miss me and refuse to take me home at the end of the night because they are "too tired" to drive. I do not wish to deal with narcissistic one-uppers that steer the entire conversation towards themselves. I mean, come on, we are twenty years old. Just because we spent our high school days together, does not mean that we have to spend our Christmas break together.

As I said, it is not that I do not want to bury the hatchet. I just do not have much time during my holiday break to squeeze in an explanation or to "fake" that I actually enjoy spending time with an individual who has a reputation of causing drama and heartache. Another thing- I have addressed these issues and spoken out for how I feel with their behaviors and actions. They have continuously apologized and I have yet to see a change.

You may argue that it is Christmastime and that I should have an open heart and an open mind. But, I would much rather remove myself from such toxicity and unhappiness. A lingering feeling of regret on a night that I have decided to spend my time with them is not fun. The entire time I am thinking about how I wish I was home drinking hot chocolate and talking with my mom or watching Christmas movies and decorating gingerbread houses with my boyfriend.

Again, forgive me if I sound selfish, but I do wish to have a holly, jolly Christmas.