Communication is not just about talking; it’s about listening. As technology continues to advance, humans depend more on electronic communication portals, where they can make the other laugh, as opposed to sincere in-person conversation. I was born in 1993 into a very social family - one full of love, life, and oh so much laughter. My mother was my best friend growing up (even though 16-year-old me refused to admit it). She always sat her children down during dinner and asked us how our days went. She listened, nodded, and always gave her honest opinion in response. None of this “How was your day?” “Good, hbu?” business. It was raw. And you bet she was never afraid of being a metiche nor of telling us when we were being pendejos. I admired and appreciated that so much. God, I love my mom.
And like most (if not all) millennials, I didn’t have the luxuries today’s children have growing up - no iphones, no ipads, or any electronics really. We were actually forced to talk to one another as a form of entertainment - another reason I think I got to be as social as I am (again, thank you Mom). It breaks my hearts seeing all these toddlers roaming around with the latest iphone 7 before they can recite their alphabet. All the while both parents text on their own phones and/or ignore the children completely. Yes, there are pros for kids watching all these educational programs on their fancy technology at a young age, but while they learn one skill, they stunt the development of their communication skills. It won’t matter if one’s kids can pronounce antidisestablishmentarianism at 3 years old if the child doesn’t learn to develop their communication skills by actively conversing, listening, and sincerely responding to those around them. They might as well have a script thought up every time they start a conversation. Oh wait, that’s already happening today.
I started realizing I have fallen into this “pre-thought up script” routine just the other day. I stopped listening to those around me. I was merely waiting for my turn to talk. I work in the customer service/sales industry, and of course, I enjoy making my customers feel the same warmth and comfort each time I take care of them. One day, I was assisting one of the company’s customers and had asked her how her day was.
“Hi how are you doing today?”
“Fine thank you”
“Good! I’m great. Awesome did you find everything okay? Did anyone help you on the floor today?”
“Oh no honey, it’s okay though. No worries.”
“Fantastic. That comes to a total of (insert price here). Press this. Sign this. Have a great day.”
“I appreciate it. Thank -”
“I can help the next customer in line!”
I didn’t even let her finish! That wouldn’t necessarily be considered bad customer service, though. She had my "attention", and I - along with my fellow associates - catered to her needs, however, I wasn’t present during our interaction. I was somewhere else, not truly listening. Finishing the transaction and starting the new one seemed more important that I didn’t even let her thank me for (hopefully) making it a pleasant experience for her.
Communication is not just about talking; it’s about listening. It’s so easy to hear the world around you; it’s even easier to come up with replies via text, email, etc. because their usually is no need for an immediate response. It’s NOT easy, however, to be present, to be 100% in the moment without thinking of what’s about to happen if you do or say something wrong. Being absolutely present means to absorb the information around you and give a sincere response in return. It’s tough. It takes practice. It takes time. What better time to develop such a skill than when you’re young? Try it. Make it your New Year’s Resolution, even. Be present. Don’t talk just to talk. Listen. You’ll be surprised at how different the world will be around you.
