Dear Will,

I broke up with you at 11:59 on June 14, 2014.

I tried not to be petty, to break up with you on your birthday,

but I thought 11:59 was the next day June 15, 2014.

Sorry.

I tried not to be petty, I didn't know 11:59 at night was not the next day,

Wait.... I'm not sorry.

Of all the things you said to me and called me

What I did was the least of my worries.

I tried to be the perfect girlfriend

but the more our relationship continued

the more I was starting to see that I was losing my self.

Our relationship was beginning to lean more to the divorce phase

instead of the honey moon phase.

You kept telling me to grow up and if I ever wanted a husband

I needed to "do it."

But you can't throw stones living in a glass house.

How you claim that you're "a grown man,"

but your mom still call you little Bill.

Sorry, I just had to spill the tea,

Not sorry, you were a d**che.