This semester I am in a women’s studies class and we talk about some pretty raw things. One unit we had was on lookism and we discussed "The Beauty Myth" written by Naomi Wolf. The overwhelming input the class had showed what an important topic beauty is, especially to women.
We started discussing how we apologize for how we looked.
“Sorry, I look like crap today.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t manage to put on make up today.”
“Yeah we can hangout, but I look terrible.”
“Just warning you I do not look cute today.”
“Sorry, I’m ugly.”
I would say that many girls have said this before in their life. I find myself doing this all the time. I say things like this is my friends, family, boyfriend, and even myself.
We say these things as a precursor or a warning. Before you hang out with me I just want to let you know that I do not look my best.
The part that is the worst is that the people you tell this to never care. My friends do not care that I wore my hair up to hang out. My family does not care I wore sweats to the store. My boyfriend doesn’t care when I don’t wear make up. Honestly, I don’t care either. Yet I still find myself apologizing for how I look if I do not “get ready” for the day.
So why do we do it? Why do we apologize for how we look if we did not put in effort for the day? No one needs a warning that I didn’t bother to conceal a zit this morning, that my hair is in a ponytail, or that I felt like leggings for the third day was fine by me. We apologize anyways.
Sometimes it is too ingrained in our brains that society deems dressing and looking a certain way is superior to others. We feel obliged to be on top of our game at all times. The truth is we should not be apologizing for how we look.
The idea is to look however you want and be unapologetic about it. If you want to wear heals or gym shoes you shouldn’t have to feel the pressure to apologize to anyone, especially yourself.
Body love is a hot topic for girls of all ages. The apologies for appearance need to stop. There is no set definition of beautiful because it means something so unique to everyone.
So let’s stop apologizing for the way we look, let’s stop saying “I’m sorry I’m_______”. You have the right to unapologetically you.
