In my freshman year of college, I spent most of my first semester making the transition from high school to college as successful as I could. I did all of my homework, went to study groups and refrained from extracurricular activities for the first several weeks. While in high school, I belonged to a multitude of clubs, teams and activities, all while holding a job and maintaining a GPA that held me in the top 10 percent of my class. I knew that college would be more strenuous, so when I felt I had the hang of this whole college thing, I set out to find more extra curricular activities to be a part of. That's what led me to sorority recruitment week in the spring semester of my freshman year.
My school is very small. We have about 1,500 people enrolled in undergraduate classes and seven academic buildings. As such, our Greek life is very small. We have three sororities (one national and two local to my school) and one fraternity. The perks of having a small school was that I had met most of the sorority women in classes and around campus, so I immediately felt like I was at home with these organizations. I was so excited to spend a week with so many great women learning about the sororities' histories and what they stood for. I received a bid from my top choice and I eagerly accepted. The rest of my freshman year, I spent Sunday nights in chapter meetings, went to sisterhood events and spent time bonding with my big. I loved seeing my sisters on campus when we were all wearing letters, and Greek Week activities were some of the best experiences I've ever had. In the months that followed, however, things started turning sour.
As I've mentioned in previous articles, I'm on my university's speech team, and we spend a fair amount of time traveling for competitions. This often meant that I couldn't be at meetings on Sunday nights because I was traveling home from neighboring states desperately trying to sleep in the van so I wouldn't be completely worn out for my 8 a.m. class. The meetings that I did go to were mostly focused around apparel that we wanted to purchase. I vividly remember one meeting in which we spent 45 minutes arguing over whether or not we each wanted to pay $3 for a cardigan with our letters on it. My practice and class schedule made it hard to attend fundraising and community service programs, and homework "excuses" were only allowed twice a month. For a person who prides herself on good grades and being a well-rounded individual, I was often stretched very thin in an attempt to cover all of my bases for fear of letting others down. Soon, I found I had fallen into the same trap that I had in high school, but this time there was a new hitch - the people on each side were not as accommodating and willing to work together. My sorority didn't understand that I had an obligation to a team that needed me every weekend, and my team didn't understand why I was willing to pay to stay in an organization that constantly punished me for things I couldn't control. After being threatened to be kicked out of this "sisterhood" by nationals and my local chapter, I decided I had had enough, and I self-terminated my membership after three semesters.
My sorority didn't work for me. I quickly found that the recruitment week facade faded as soon as initiation was over, and for an organization prided on all-inclusive sisterhood, I did not feel as welcomed and included as they led me to believe I would. This roomful of women was just as cliquey and sometimes catty as high school, and sometimes they were worse. My grades slipped, I lacked focus in practice, and I no longer loved the organization like I once did. They frequently pushed me to quit my team with the threat of being on probation or termination from the sorority. The rose colored glasses slipped away and I realized that this sorority was more focused on reputation and appearance than they were on the goals that were written into their bylaws so many years ago.
If you are in a sorority and love it, I am so happy for you. If you are considering joining, I will not stop you. If you're in a sorority and you don't love it with your whole heart, then I will tell you that I am happier now that I have resigned my membership. I recognize now, after being away from my sorority for a year, that maybe my personality and schedule just didn't fit within this organization. I still talk to some of my former sisters, and I harbor no animosity toward the sorority itself. I do wish that things had been handled differently for me, and for other women who were in similar situations. My sorority just didn't work for me.
