If Sophomore Year Of College Were An Episode Of "Spongebob"

If Sophomore Year Of College Were An Episode Of "Spongebob"

Can I please be excused for the rest of my life?


Sophomore year is the collegiate version of a prepubescent—you wake up, thinking everything is completely normal, and then suddenly you notice the new giant pimple forming on your chin, the three new hairs in your armpits, and how your voice now sounds like Morgan Freeman's. Basically, you're hit with life's harsh realities, and somehow you are too young and yet too old to really matter.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the sophomore slump refers to an instance in which a second effort fails to live up to the standards of the first, AKA Sophmore year of college. Unlike freshmen, we receive fewer warnings about the do’s and don’ts of college life and are instead just expected to know how things work. We’re expected to be familiar with campus, know our majors, begin searching for internships or jobs, belong to a social crowd, be involved on campus, and continue to make positive progress over the next year. The façade of the carefree Freshman lifestyle is now overcome by more work, decisions, and pressure. Essentially, Sophomore year is like the boring child in the family, the Monday of your week, and seeing Christmas lights still up in April.

Can you feel it now, Mr. Krabs? Here is the sloppy second year in review:

1. You come back to school more prepared than ever, feeling confident

I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready—for some failure.

2. You now have the better option for housing

Bye, bye dorms.

3. And don't need to fear getting caught by the RAs

4. You see a lot of familiar faces

5. And you beat the Freshman 15

Because no more access to dorm food at all hours.

6. Then, all of the sudden, you're slapped in the face with reality

7. You now realize you still don't get to enjoy any upperclassman privileges, and all of your underclassman ones disappear

8. So even though you don't have to make your schedule dead last, your registration time to sign up for classes is still inadequate

Although you know a thing or two about classes, you'll inevitably still end up with a couple crappy ones.

9. And your freshman ignorance is no longer an excuse

"Oh sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the building."

10. So when you walk in 10 minutes late to your 9 a.m., you receive multiple dirty looks

11. "Undecided" is no longer an option, but you still are not sure what you want to spend the rest of your life doing

12. But hey — at least you have your friends, right?

13. Wrong.

No, really, it's true. After freshman year, people begin to discover that being overly social can be exhausting.

14. As close as your freshman crew was, things don't always stay the same

15. You'll be more selective about parties

Last year you'd show up wherever a keg was promised. Now, you have your favorite party houses and find yourself being more easily persuaded when it comes to laying in bed in pajamas, eating pizza.

16. So staying in doesn't seem so bad anymore

17. Especially because you're swamped with work

Teachers cut the umbilical cord and you're expected to write three papers, do a presentation, take two midterms, and three quizzes all in one week.

18. Your physical appearance is hindered by your lack of sleep

19. And getting dressed up is not a high priority anymore

20. People keep talking about jobs and internships

21. So you join a million extracurricular activities to try and keep up

22. When you realize you simply can't do it all

23. Which is when you discover your limits and breakdown

24. And then, eventually, you begin to truly find yourself

Ooooh who lives with a GPA under a C? Coll-ege-soph-mores! Who's living with stress-induced anxiety? Coll-ege-soph-mores!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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