Sometimes I wish I wasn't considered pretty.

I know that sounds like a conceded thing to say; but please hear me out.

I wish I wasn't considered pretty in the eyes of men, or rather they eyes of immature people who view me as eye candy. See, as a pretty girl, that's what I am. I am something for boys to look at for fun. I am thought of as "fun," "sexy," or "playful." I am looked at as something short term and short lived. I'm a phase.

As a pretty girl, I am not seen as someone's soul mate. I'm more seen as someone who would be fun to mess around with from time to time. I'm someone who "gets all the guys" but can never keep a guy because much like when you have too much candy and get sick they get sick of me.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't considered pretty in the eyes of men.

So many times I hear "heyyy, pretty lady," or "hey, sexy," catcalls. Men calling to me as if I am some kind of dog to be beckoned over to them with a whistle. They call because of my skin. They see the way my body moves or the way my backside curves. I am pretty; so it's okay for them to envision me in their head doing things to me I would protest against. Isn't that what eye candy is for? It's a treat for your eyes and minds, not a meal.

Being pretty hurts, but not in the way you'd think. It hurts because I want to be someone's forever love but I am never seen as that. My beauty gets in the way of other's looking past my skin and into my heart. I'm too pretty, too much of a distraction. All that matters is here, now, what you can do to my body before I have to go. Nothing more.

I don't like being "pretty" because I don't like being due candy. I'm tired of being a treat for the mind and not a meal for the heart. I don't want to be eye candy. I want to be someone's soul food.