The beginning of any relationship starts out fun and exciting. It's new, and the two of you look forward to learning about each other, and growing together. You get so wrapped up in each other that pretty soon you're blinded with the big word: love. After a while, however, the excitement wears off, and the two of you become more comfortable expressing your true feelings, good and bad. The two of you work hard to overcome whatever obstacle that comes your way, but sometimes the wave crashing over you is a little too much.
You fight, and bicker. You both say things that you don't want to mean, but deep down you do. At that point, you know there's no sense in hanging on anymore. However, you're so determined to make the relationship work, no matter what it takes. So you eventually start trying to avoid arguing by letting the other one win. You're exhausted with the same fight you keep having over and over and over again. It never gets resolved; it always gets swept under the rug. You start to have doubts, but you quickly defend your heart by saying that everyone has doubts, and that's just your mind trying to trick you. Instead of listening to your gut that's screaming to walk away, you keep trying to hold the pieces together with mud. However, the waves keep crashing in and breaking apart what you're trying so hard to hold together.
It starts to take a toll on you as an individual. You start building resentment for everything. You start focusing on the things that you don't like about the other person, and the things that drive you insane about them. You start to focus on the things that break your heart, and in turn it starts to drive the wedge further between the two of you. At this point, your relationship is like a rubber band. But even rubber bands can only be stretched so far before they break.
During the highs, things are amazing. You both laugh until your stomachs hurt. You look forward to seeing them no matter how long the drive will take. When things are good, they're great. But the moment something hits the fan, whether it's being exhausted after a long day at work or the fact that you just really need extra attention that night, then it all goes downhill. Frustration arises. Every little thing is frustrating. You don't know how to act or what to say because of the fear of the other getting so frustrated with you. Then, you reach the point that you basically tuck your tail between your legs and lower your head in surrender. That's definitely not healthy.
You love this person. You're so consumed in love with them, but there are just problems that you can't overlook. Even though things are great when they're good, it doesn't mean that you need to totally disregard when they're horrible and sweep them under the rug. Listen to your head. Your heart will always tell you to keep trying, but your heart becomes your enemy the moment you feel as though you need to change yourself for that person in order to seem less frustrating and more wanted. Even though what you had was good, sometimes holding on hurts you so much more than just letting go. Breakups suck. They hurt. You lay your head down knowing that when you wake up the next day, everything will be over and you'll have to try to adjust your life back to the way it was before them. Doing so causes you to trail back down memory lane. Why do we do this? Maybe it's to give ourselves some closure. Maybe it's to relive the good times, or maybe it's to relive the bad so that we have confirmation that we haven't made a mistake.
Whatever it is, do the right thing for you. You will be able to respect yourself a lot better knowing that you valued both of your happiness over your fantasy. Just know that sometimes "I love you's" aren't meant to last forever. You'll realize that the moment you trade that "I love you" for "goodbye." It's going to hurt, but you have to be strong and walk away. Just walk away.
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy."
-Robert Tew
