We’ve grown up to believe that success comes from persevering, trying your best, and never losing sight of the goal you had previously set in mind. Never giving up hope is what I’ve always believed to be true; I have always bent over backwards trying to hold onto everything and everyone. I never lost hope in things like relationships and friendships because I always believed every single one was worth holding onto. Afterall, giving up is hope’s arch nemesis and I refused to succumb to it. However, there are exceptions to this taboo, which is something that recently hit me like a brick- no, more like a train. It was a lot more painful than that. In my wallowing soul search, I realized sometimes success can only come from giving up.

I know this sounds crazy, but hear me out. Giving up does not always mean defeat. In cases regarding ex’s, used-to-be friends, or something in-between, it means the exact opposite. You hold on so tightly when things go awry, refusing to relax the grip of your fingers from the thin rope of hope. You try and convince yourself to keep going, to keep hanging on because maybe one day they’ll come back and everything will be whole again. It’s nearly impossible to accept the idea that giving up truly is the only way to be happy, but once you realize this one thing, it suddenly doesn’t sound so bad. You need to understand that sometimes broken relationships are just irreparable. Period.

And it’s not your fault. You need to cut yourself some slack. You are not weak for acknowledging the fact that this person no longer benefits you. Eventually, you’ll be playing an endless game of tug-of-war, with no one on the other end. If you are not happy, the rope burn on your sweaty palms only cuts deeper. You cannot blame yourself for letting go after promising yourself you never would. You need to remember how much you did for this person and how loyal you always were. You were always there for them, stopping at nothing to make them happy. You set yourself on fire to keep them warm. You continuously went above and beyond and threw your dedication in wholeheartedly. Beyond a shadow of doubt, there is nothing more you could have done for them, and you know that. It did not fall apart because of you; it broke because it was no longer reciprocated. It fell apart because they did not appreciate you as much as you deserved.

Sometimes people are not meant to stay. Yes, you shared your world with them. You vowed to never part. You trusted that this person would be the be-all-end-all. But you need to understand that this person has already served their purpose. Once upon a time they made you happy or else you would not have held on for so long. But again, sometimes certain things are not meant to stay forever. Sometimes drifts are caused by unexplainable reasons, and it is not your job to find the answers. If they were meant to stay in your life, then they would. By gripping on, you’re allowing yourself to be suffocated by something that is truly toxic. Yes, toxic. You cannot glue shattered glass together and expect it to be in the perfect condition it once was; you’re bound to cut yourself on the broken pieces in the process.

I will stress this time and time again: giving up does not always imply loss. It means that you understand that you deserve more than to pine after something that just isn’t there anymore. You’re understanding that you deserve to find those who will not only appreciate, but compliment your worth for what it truly is because you are a goddamn rock star. This does not mean slash their tires and key their cars. It means smile, keep your head up, and have faith in future relationships to come. Thank them for how they made you feel way back when... or don’t. You are not weak for giving up; rather, you are incredibly strong for holding on for as long as you did. You are courageous, caring, and considerate. The burn on your hands will slowly heal; sometimes it will sting more times than others, but in the end, it will be ready to hold onto something new. By accepting to let go, you’ve grown stronger, you’ve acknowledged what you truly deserve, and you’ve become in control of your own happiness. That’s a win in my book.