Cancer has the same meaning for everyone on this planet. The are absolutely no positive thoughts or feelings associated with the disease. The first words that come in my mind when hearing the “cancer” are sickness, death, and hospitals. Unfortunately, I learned about these things at a very young age.

When I was just four months shy of my eleventh birthday my very best friend and partner-in-crime lost is battle to the big “C.” After surgery, chemo, and radiation, brain cancer defeated my cousin’s ten year old body. However it never, ever, defeated his attitude.

Christian was the strongest person I will ever get to know. No matter who I come across during my lifetime, no one will ever surpass Christian’s effortless, inspiring courage. Although physically he was weak so he couldn’t play lacrosse and football as much as he’d like to, he always had a smile on his face. He even drank green, thick, disgusting glasses of wheatgrass without complaining. I will never forget the moment I looked at the sidelines of my fifth grade lacrosse game only to see my ten year old cousin in a wheelchair watching and cheering me on.

Quite often I look at pictures of the two of us at all different ages. I think about how on a very rainy day in May Christian’s life was taken from my family. I think about how we will never get to take any more pictures together. Although the pictures and memories have ended, the words are infinite. Writing comforts me. Christian, who he was, and all of our memories, are my all-time favorite things to write about. I’m even surprised it has taken me this long to write an Odyssey article about him.

I hope and aspire to be half the person Christian was. There is not a day that goes by where I think about all the things he has missed. Our grandfather’s death, my parent’s divorce, my senior prom, graduation, and all of the smaller things in between. I’d like to think that during these times where I needed him the most, he gave me the strength to carry on.

I reached out to Christian every night for three months after he passed away. As a small ten year old girl I spent five minutes before bed each night writing to Christian. I would tell him how I was, about my day, and how I missed and loved him. I believe writing these letters every night was a critical part of my grieving period. I think that hadn’t I done that, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

There are so many more things I could say about Christian but I know there will be plenty more Odyssey articles about him to come. There is no way I would be the person I am today if I hadn’t known Christian, experienced his sickness, or experienced his death. I am so grateful to have had to chance to know him and love him. It’s crazy what a silly ten year old boy could teach you.