In an ideal world–at least, in my ideal world, people would be driven by their dreams and passions. We would learn from each other, mutually, and help each other grow. Our world would be full of color. But the sad reality is that we live in a world that is increasingly driven by societal standards, seemingly lacking even shades of gray. Things are either black or white, with no in between. You’re either “good enough” or you’re not.
This is a problem because it’s not true. Who’s to say what qualifies as “good enough”? How do we, as a society, generalize such a standard to the whole population when we are made up of such great diversity? We can’t.
And yet, society is dictating our every move based on what’s normal and acceptable and praiseworthy, and we’re letting it happen.
Don’t get me wrong–I know that there is a certain set standard of behavior. For instance, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. We should be understanding of others because we don’t know everything that goes on in their life. We should work together to inspire and empower those around us because together, we set the course for our future.
While such standards certainly have a positive impact, we’ve reached the breaking point. The bottom line is that we’re all negatively affected by the overwhelming pressure that society puts on us. What’s really scary is that the pressure starts building in childhood.
It’s become increasingly common for parents to start getting their children ahead of the game as early as elementary school. It’s no longer just about encouraging good study habits or reaching your full potential; instead, it’s about being “better” than the kid next door. It’s about winning this lifelong competition that we’ve created for ourselves.
Healthy competition is one thing. It fosters an effective learning environment and motivates us to be better. But we’re past that point. The level of competitiveness that we’ve achieved has become toxic. In childhood, it’s about who goes to the private schools and who has the most extracurriculars.
We get to college and it’s about who graduates from the Ivy League schools and manages to keep their extracurriculars. We graduate and enter the real world and it’s about who lands a job at the hottest company and who makes the most money. And then, the cycle repeats itself–the competition spans across generations. Whose kids are the most successful? Whose grandkids are the most successful?
It’s become too much. We’re taught never to give up until we reach our goals and meet, and exceed, the standards that society has set for us. Society tells us that it’s not enough to compete only with our past self, but rather, we must also compare our success to that of others.
But the thing is, there will always be someone who appears to be better than us, so we adopt this mindset: we will never be “good enough.” And that’s when things start spiraling downhill rather than up.
So let me tell you right now. You are good enough. Don’t let society dictate your life because only you really know what you love, and what you’re capable of. Learn from society when you can, but don’t let it deem you unsuccessful when in fact, you should be quite proud of yourself.
If you have a dream and you work hard towards that dream, you’ll get there. That’s when you can say you’re successful. And along the way, you’ll have defied any false standards that society pre-determined for you.
As quoted in The Imitation Game, “sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things that no one can imagine.”
