|Suzanne Venker, author of “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage: HOW LOVE WORKS,” recently wrote an opinion piece for Fox News on how Alpha women can find happiness in marriage. And I’m sure glad she did because I learned a lot.
First of all, I learned that I can’t be too masculine in a relationship (i.e. have opinions and needs). As the female, I am only allowed to have female traits in my own home, like being “nice” and “soft.” Men don’t have to be nice because that’s not what masculinity is about. No, they have to have masculine traits like being responsible for the decisions of the household and never being told what to do. I also need to seek power in bed, whatever that means.
As a woman and especially as an alpha woman, I’m too “complicated” because I have so many needs. Alpha men are simple because all they need is complete dominance and power over all relationships and social structures. Oh, and also “respect, companionship and sex” and also a woman who is pleased and easily pleased. So, I need to worry less about myself and my many problems and worry more about how my problems and unhappiness upset my husband. Venker joked that it was hard to keep her moods in control as a Pisces. As a Leo, I sympathize.
Now, as Venker explains, a man should still be responsible for his own problems like alcoholism, violent tempers, and cheating. (Just like I’m responsible for my problems like include having emotions and thinking for myself.) However, I should keep in mind that if my husband does these, it’s still probably somehow my fault. You see, like in chess, “how [the queen] moves affects how [the king] moves.” I’m pretty sure that’s not how chess works, but whatever, it was on the internet. Must be true.
In the end, life is easier when you let go of your alpha power at home. When you allow your husband to make all your decisions and don’t argue with him even when you have something to say, you feel more relaxed. Women shouldn’t have to worry about stuff like that. No, you should be more “service-oriented.” Instead of directly asking for what you want and being open about your feelings, you'll be happier by being passive and "subtle." This may seem hard considering this is your own home, a place that should be comfortable and safe for you. But it should also be comfortable for your man who somehow feels violated every time you’re right about something. Put his needs first.
Finally, Venker closes her argument well by saying, “it’s like weight loss,” and I agree because like losing weight, people pretend becoming a "beta woman" is easy and expect all women to do it for the sake of men without actually considering what she wants.