This is my best friend, Sarah. Sarah is a film major at Columbia College of Chicago. If you're friends with either of us on social media, you probably already know the following: Sarah is an amazing and talented photographer, and I am always willing to be her guinea pig model. But in reality, it's more of me begging her to take pictures of me, because I love it.
Sarah had done a photo shoot back in February with her college roommates wearing Calvin Klein underwear. I remember her texting me the rough edits of the pictures, and I loved them. I remember saying like I do whenever Sarah does a shoot without me, that I wanted to take pictures like this some day. I also remember helping Sarah decide which picture to Instagram, as best friends do, and also making sure to pick a more "tame" one; we all have family and friends on Instagram who'd turn their noses up. But, this picture is beautiful to me, I still love it.
What also strikes me as remarkable about this post are the comments, which I have included below. Supportive, complementary, kind. Yes girl, work it.
Last week, I hung out with Sarah and our friend Ashley, and we took some pictures in our Calvin's. I posted a vague picture on my Snapchat story of Sarah climbing on Ashley's bed in a funny position to get that perfect angle with the caption "photoshootin' in our Calvin's." I had a few friends respond to my story, with supportive messages of "can't wait to see!" which is a response I normally get when I hype Sarah's photo shoots. I responded to a few off-handed texts about my day by mentioning the photo shoot, and I tweeted a few silhouetted pictures of us, as a sneak peek.
Post shoot, I usually tweet a sneak peek of some raw pictures taken on my phone before Sarah edits the real ones from her camera, because I just get really excited about it. I can't contain myself, and these sunset silhouette shots were no exception. I remember coming home that night and catching up with my mom, and I briefly mentioned: "Oh yeah, Sarah took some pictures of us in that really cute Calvin Klein underwear that I have." My mom was slightly thrown and asked me why a couple separate times, to which I tried to awkwardly brush it off and say "Uh, just more pictures for her portfolio for school, it's a requirement." I felt embarrassed; not like I thought my mom would be over-the-moon or excited about the pictures. But I was initially excited, and that's what matters most.
A few days passed. Sarah was quite busy and didn't have time to edit the pictures. So, when the pictures suddenly appeared via text one night, I was pretty stoked to say the least. We were all really pleased with how the pictures turned out, so we took to social media to post a few. Here are a few of my favorite shots.
I was expecting some backlash, and I did receive some. Among positive comments, I anticipated some negative. But what was said is not what this article is about, whatsoever. I'm not focusing on the people whose opinions happened to differ from mine; I realize it happens, I accept it.
What I want to bring focus to is perception. Why societal norms are in place that condition people to think so differently between underwear and bathing suits.
Think of the last time you went to the beach or the pool. I'm sure you saw women of some age wearing bikinis or one-pieces, I'm sure you saw shirtless men. All of you Millennials reading this right now, I know your Instagram feeds are filled with plenty pictures of girls posing next to some body of water in a bikini. And that is all right, it's viewed as socially acceptable.
Ashley and I went to Bradford Beach recently and took some pictures by Lake Michigan, and those pictures were posted on social media too. No backlash received, because it's a typical thing to do.
I simply cannot fathom how the difference between items of clothing made up of fabric can be portrayed with such different perspectives. I can say that the swimsuits I wear to the beach showcase more skin that my Calvin Klein sports bra, same with my Calvin Klein bottoms. If anything, I trot around my swimsuit in public, and no one bats an eye. But, a few professional-grade photos taken in the privacy of my friend's house, when we're not nearly as exposed are viewed as something on the opposite end of the spectrum.
I recall, mid photo shoot as the sun was setting over the lake next to Ashley's house, Sarah remarked "I wish we could all take a walk and get some great shots of the sunset hitting the water. But, you know, heaven forbid you walk outside in your underwear and someone sees you."
We were not posing sexually in any sort of way. Why do people think of it as remotely sexual? Because we're in our underwear? We all wear underwear, but for some reason, it's some unspoken taboo or secret that is socially frowned upon. We're not wearing lingerie, either; I'm wearing a sports bra and panties. None of my private parts are exposed or visible. You'd see the same amount or more of butt cheek at the beach, or even Summerfest.
I don't want to make this article focused on me and my life, I want other people to relate to it. But if you do know me personally, think of this; I've done several artistic photo shoots with Sarah in the past few years, and trust me, there are more to come. In one of the photos towards the beginning of this article, I'm covered in black paint and red eye makeup, as a nod to Twenty One Pilot's album/persona of "Blurry face." Those pictures were taken in an abandoned warehouse in Milwaukee, and afterwards, Sarah, Ashley and I went to eat at the lakefront Collective coffee shop. Yes people stared at us, but we didn't care; it was us expressing ourselves in a creative way, and those pictures are some of my favorites out of anything Sarah and I have ever done. Plus, if you want to say I'm just "posing half naked" then acknowledge that I am not in public. Think of me: is it really in my character/nature to do a shoot at the beach? No. I am proud of my body, I am proud of the weight I have lost in the past year. I barely put on a swimsuit last summer, and I was definitely rarely photographed in that way. I am proud of the way I look, and I am allowed to express that in any way that I feel comfortable. It's my body.
If I feel cute strutting around my friend's bedroom and dancing to fun music, good for me. I felt pretty, confident, and proud of how far I have come. I did not post pictures on social media to second-guess myself, and retreat into a self-conscience stage. I posted them because I wanted to.
Some societal norms are old-fashioned, out-dated and will never make sense to me. It's 2016 — let's not obey societal norms that have been around since the turn of the century. Heaven forbid I show a little skin, maybe some butt cheek, when I'm not at the beach.
