Your alarm goes off in the morning. You shut it off and grab your phone. Your first instinct in the morning is to check your texts, emails, Snapchat and Instagram. You open Instagram to find thousands of photos that are deemed popular by a number of likes. You open Snapchat to find 30+ pictures of other people. From the second you wake up in the morning, your mind has been impacted by social media. As the day progresses, it is only natural to refresh Instagram and Snapchat (multiple times a day) in order to keep up with what is trending. Lucky for some of us, we are college students, or older, and are confident in who we are as individuals. We do not feel swayed by someone else’s post to match their “standard” of what it is to be popular. However, for adolescents, the impact social media has on their day to day life can be catastrophic.

Here is an open letter to adolescent, social media obsessed girls.

Dear 13-year-old girls:

While you might not like to believe it, this is the most awkward stage of your life. You probably have braces or are just getting them off. You probably are just starting to get rid of your “baby fat.” You probably have boobs and have zero idea on how to deal with them. You probably are stepping into Victoria’s Secret to be measured because EVERYONE is doing it. You probably are starting to shave and have a new desire to get your eyebrows done. These are some pretty big changes; and although you might not want to admit that you are changing, you are. However, for 13 year olds 10+ years ago, the way they coped with these changes was very different from how these changes are being handled today. 10 years ago, there was no Instagram or Snapchat. 10 years ago, popularity was not determined by a number of likes or views. 10 years ago, an adolescent could deal with these changes from the privacy of her own home. Today, that is not the case.

In 2018, almost every 13-year-old has an iPhone. Since everyone has an iPhone, most adolescents also have social media apps. Thus, these changes that are occurring are being publicized every time a photo or video is posted. Along with the uploading of a photo comes the instant feedback from an adolescent’s follower base. This means that if someone wants to comment something nasty, they can. This means that if someone wants to screenshot the post and send it to others, they can. This means that cyberbullying can occur. So, let’s take a step back and assess the situation. Not only is this the most awkward time of your life, but you also have thousands of viewers reacting to every social media move you make. Imagine the pressure—the pressure to try to mask these changes in the most natural way and the pressure to stay trending in the social media world.

To make matters worse, the idea of an Instagram model has become a dominant marketing tool in society. Think about it: how wild is it that people are getting paid to post a picture of themselves wearing or doing something. It is only human nature to follow these models’ accounts and strive to wear the same clothes as them and achieve their sense of perfection. These numerous accounts and posts fill an adolescent’s feed and obscure their idea of what it means to be popular, cool or pretty—all irrelevant ideas in the grand scheme of things. Thus, the situation has escalated. Not only are adolescents obsessing over their own changes and social media accounts, but now they are also being swayed by the unrealistic images seen on the Internet.

Now, let’s make matters even worse (who knew that was possible). Your parents have no idea what you are going through. They sit there zooming in on every Instagram and question why a Snapchat fades after a certain number of seconds. They interrogate you as to why you feel the need to post a picture of yourself to a bunch of strangers. You try to teach them how to properly use social media, but let’s be real, they are a lost cause. They try to tell you that things will get better, but you find it nearly impossible to believe since their adolescent years did not include the added pressures of social media. You are the social media era and they simply will never be at the forefront of the industry. So, again, let’s assess the situation. You are trying to slowly transition into your new changes. You are trying to maintain a solid social media presence through this all. Your idea of what it means to be beautiful has been blurred by Instagram models. To boot, your parents are absolutely clueless in navigating you through this all.

Now what?

While there is no exact method on how to cope with this all, here are some suggestions. First, do not try to hide the changes that are occurring. As cliché as it is to embrace them, embrace them! Every girl goes through it, and someday all of your friends will laugh at how immature you were at the time. Second, do not post a picture to prove that you were somewhere or were doing something. Post a picture because you think it’s an awesome shot that deserves recognition. Third, likes are just a number and comments are irrelevant. When your friend comments, it’s because she’s your friend and cares. However, it’s the random person that comments on your photo that leaves a lasting impression of you. If haters comment negative things, block them… that’s what the button is for (duh)! Fourth, follow Instagram models to help define your sense of fashion, but do not follow them with the intention of becoming them. Their bodies are extremely unrealistic! Fifth, don’t snap on your parents. Instead, explain to your parents that this is how society is and that they need to accept the social media era rather than reject it. Sixth, remember that you are not alone. While it might feel that no one knows what you are going through, remind yourself that there are MILLIONS of girls going through this.

This is only a phase. Time will go on and the things that you believe to be so monumental will soon become minuscule. You are beautiful, young and radiant. Trust me, embracing these things is much easier than fighting them.

Sincerely,

A 19-year-old facing adulthood