Last week I deleted my Twitter account and my Instagram app. I didn’t have the guts to delete my IG account, but I might soon if I get the courage. I’m an avid addict of social media so to friends and to myself, this act was super weird and out of character. But, deleting these apps made me the happiest I've been in years. Let me explain.

I got acne when I was in the sixth grade. It’s a common thing of course, but I’m 20 years old, and it’s still a constant battle. I don’t have straightest or the nicest, tamest hair, and I’m not filthy rich and have the best outfits out there. What does this have to do with social media? Well, I’m also an outspoken feminist. I try my best to make the women and girls around me and the ones that follow me feel the best they can. I want them to see that everything they are and everything they have is enough, and they shouldn’t let what is expected to make them value themselves any less. I let it do that to me. I didn’t take my own advice, and I let those expectations get to me and make me feel like crap.

I have always disliked things about myself, everyone has. But I began doubting myself and my abilities, and social media is what pushed me over that edge. My acne consumed me to the point where it was all I saw. I looked at friends’ IG pictures and saw everything I wish I had. I saw straight teeth, I saw clear skin, I saw beautiful girls who had everything I wish I had. It was all a shot at my self esteem, and I know social media isn’t the only source to blame. I let those things consume me. I had to be stronger, and believe I’m beautiful enough for myself.

I’m a good feminist when it comes to depending on people. I don’t depend on boys to make me feel good like I used to when I was in middle school. Even though I managed to escape that, I turned to putting all of that dependency onto myself. It makes sense that I should only care what I think, but it came to a point where I didn’t even believe my friends when they told me I looked nice, and I started avoiding mirrors and cameras and ignored pictures of myself.

I started going through some hardships, and I was destroyed. I didn’t feel like talking or sharing anything on social media, and seeing everyone else talk about their lives seemed like a waste of mine. I deactivated my Twitter and deleted Instagram.

It’s been a week, and I know that’s nothing, but for someone who spend hours on social media, it’s a huge step. I still have Tumblr and Facebook, but I barely spend any time on them. I stopped feeling like shit all of the time, and I spent more time talking to my friends and thinking. Thinking more about myself, and how much I did like myself before I started tearing myself apart. I'm getting better and I feel better. Friends and good company help. I told my friends about my problems, and those that care comforted me and helped me feel loved and cherished.

Social media teaches girls to want to be skinny but also curvy, you have to have straight teeth, remember to tame your hair, but if you have curls let those free, show more skin! Don’t show skin? Embrace your flaws! Cover that, hide that, wear make up don’t wear makeup –– whatever you do, it’ll be criticized.

It’s easy to let all of the things you see and hear get to you. Eliminating those bad thoughts and social media made it easier to actually listen to myself and what feminists have said. Live to please yourself, and love yourself. Who else will be there for you, but you? You only have one body in this life, you have to love it to live the fullest life you can live. If I hadn’t taken a break from social media, I don’t think I would’ve realized any of this and finally taken my own advice.