Nelly Furtado had the right idea back in 2006 when she sang, “Chivalry is dead, but you’re still kinda cute.” We all know that relationships today are different than when our parents and grandparents dated. We don’t need more articles to compare them, alongside photos of Noah and Allie’s classic yet unobtainable relationship.
Social media makes it easier for us to communicate in multiple different ways; it also makes us pretty lazy when attempting to pursue a potential significant other. The classic, grand ol’ gestures such as men always holding the door open for girls or girls at least offering to pay for dinner have turned into that giant leap to text him first or “like” her Instagram picture. Being recognized via text message and social media is starting to replace good old-fashioned conversation and flattery. There has been one too many times I’ve heard one of my friends squeal that their boy of interest liked their recent post or favorites their tweet (remember, it’s just a gold star given to your thought, it doesn’t actually mean anything…).
It’s hard to not get caught up in it and remind yourself that aspects of social media should be the least contributing factors when pursuing a relationship. Not that I’m any sort of expert (seriously, I have no idea what I’m doing), but in my opinion, the sincerest form of flattery should not be delivered to you through a bright, handheld screen. It also seems as though the heavy dependency on social media has delayed any progress while dating. Some potential couples will message for weeks before actually hanging out in person or agreeing on any form of exclusivity. I cringe when I hear people say, “Yeah well, we Snapchat a lot” or “I don’t know, he has been texting me almost every day so that means something, right?” as a response regarding whether their potential relationship is actually moving in any direction at a pace somewhat faster than snail mail.
Relying on social media cues for reassurance and flattery only hinders our ability to have solid, personal conversations. If she watched your Snapchat story but hasn’t texted you back, is it over? If he didn’t like your last Instagram post, has he moved on to someone else?
I’m not saying this because I don’t like social media. In fact, I love it and check-in with it all the time. However, I think there are a plethora of other ways to take full advantage of what social media offers without it diluting good conversation and romantic relationships. So next time you find yourself second guessing your next move, whether it’s via Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, etc., remember to ask yourself what came first, your online profiles or your personality.
