Social butterflies like me tend to be bubbly people who hop from group of people to group of people, making new friends or making sure our current friends don’t feel forgotten. We’re the ones who strike up the conversation and by the last word have created a new friendship. Social butterflies don’t care about the color or the gender of the flowers they fly to. We’re the ones who smile during a conversation to make sure the other person feels like they have our attention. Social butterflies are the ones you see being extroverted and loud, attracting people to them. We’re like a beacon everyone recognizes and most people appreciate for the energy they can feed off of; making us like the flame that attracts the moths.
Sometimes though, we tumble in the wind.
From every positive there is also a negative and that also goes for positive, social people. Social butterflies are not only the ones who give off never ending friendliness and energy, but we are also most likely the ones who bottle up other feelings, deeming them unimportant, private. Our purpose is to be a friendly beacon, not a sad, energy consuming force. We prefer giving energy than taking it.
I can’t speak for every social butterfly out there because everyone’s different even if they are similar in the sense of social tendencies, but I bottle up the darker feelings inside myself. I do it by accident, without even meaning to. It’s like a defense mechanism, actually. Since I used to be a sad, negative kid due to bullying and self-esteem issues derived from many different sources, now that I’ve learned to be more positive, I tend to focus on only showing those positive thoughts through my actions. I force myself to not be reminded of my past and focus on the future, so I naturally force myself to be happy all the time.
Do you know how tiring that is? Very.
On top of that, most social butterflies don’t actually have a set friend group. You know, a “fam”, “squad”, etc. I am one of those social butterflies without a home base to land at. I prefer hopping from group to group in search of new friends or simply maintaining the friendships I already have, but once a certain boundary of closeness has been breached in those friendships, I back off and move on. It’s like when a butterfly fills up on the nectar given to it by one flower and flies away.
My friend sent me a quote by Aristotle that describes this phenomena beautifully, “A friend to all is a friend to none.” I visually have a lot of friends but I give them enough space to form their own close friend groups without me.
Being a social butterfly for me at least is an adaptation to the life I have grown into. Since I was used to not having a lot of friends, coming to college sparked a change in my methods of friendship. I didn’t have the experience of making friends before and the shift into being in a forcibly more social situation such as college brought out the defense mechanism of being a social butterfly.
I just hope my mindless flying will lead me to a healthy group of accepting friends. I know I’ll still remain as friendly as I am now, but having a set group of people I can rely on would keep me grounded. Maybe my group will end up being many other social butterflies that meet up every now and then to recharge and open up our hearts to each other.
