“Smiling’s my favorite!” - Buddy the Elf
What does it take to make you smile?
Is it a day filled with sunshine and exploration of the outdoors?
Maybe the warming sensation of coffee tumbling down your throat on a chilly October day?
Is it the nuzzle of a child’s teeny noggin into the crook of your arm as you watch its chest rhythmically rise and fall in slumber?
Does a night out filled with die-hard dancing and jinxed jokes and fabulous friends do the trick?
What about the tender kiss to your forehead from your significant other while they pull you into a soothing bear hug after a long day?
Is it solace in the truths you know about who you are and what you’ve accomplished?
Or perhaps is a smile something you smudge on like lipstick when you’re in a hurry trying to grasp at something to make you look slightly more presentable?
Is a smile what you turn to when someone calls you that heart wrenching word, but you laugh it off in the moment even though it splices open your inner thoughts and destroys your self-worth in the darkness and loneliness of night?
How about when a family member privately disowns you and you feel you have to keep it together for the well-being of your other relatives, so you paste on a smile for the holidays?
Are you pre-programmed to smile?
Sometimes I feel that I am.
Ahhhhh, the ease of a slight curl of the lips, forming into that familiar crescent-shape.
But, I wonder, does a smile consistently denote happiness or joy? Can it always carry authenticity? Can we assume automatically that when we see a smile that all is right with the world and there is no cerebral thunder behind the eyes of the giver of the smile?
“Fake it til you make it.”
Sometimes, this mantra of many can really come in handy for certain situations.
Other times, it’s safe to say that a smile may not actually be your best bet at a particular time. Maybe a frown, maybe a quiver of the lips, maybe a solitary tear - something that even ever so slightly helps someone catch a glimmer of what is going on in that beautiful mind could unleash the beginning of healing.
What do you smile about? Why do you smile? Would you say you tend to smile genuinely or is it something you run to when you need an escape from what is actually going on?
Your smile is breathtaking. It is 100 percent unique. It doesn’t matter if you have jagged teeth, a misaligned jaw, a “good” side, or the most picturesque, pearly white smile imaginable. Your smile is worth something. It is so worth being shared, valued, and appreciated.
So why do we, (why do I?!) waste our smiles on circumstances that might not demand one?
Well, we try to be happy, strong, put-together, sophisticated, overtly optimistic, unhealthily chipper - all to mask some type of feeling. We don’t want to burden anyone or let anyone in.
Know that feelings have validity. You don’t have to smile every waking moment that you are in front of others. You can share what’s behind the fake smiles with someone who loves you and that you trust to listen to your words. You can exercise using tears, frowns, jaw-drops, and the likes. You don’t have to smile at and about everything that comes your way!
Save your smile. Save it for the times when you are experiencing something genuine.
Know too that smiles can signify sad things. Like when the striking scent of pine and linen bring you back to play dates at your grandfather’s house, or when the sound of a young woman’s raspy voice reminds you of your sister who smoked too much, or when you fondly gaze at a nostalgic picture that exemplified a time of immense joy in your life.
Smiles are priceless. Especially yours. Sometimes, it is okay to paste on an Elmer’s glue white toothed smile to get through the hour, the day or the week. But don’t live your life smiling ingenuinely. Embrace the idea that you can smile about the breath you are currently breathing, that you woke up to another day, that you actually did make a difference in someone’s life. Smile about things that count, and share them generously. You never know when someone is in dire need of an honest to goodness grin that could change the trajectory of their mood.
Don’t offer a robotic, lifeless, counterfeit smile. Instead smile honestly. Let your smile reflect some warm, happy, nostalgic, excited, knowing thing - and wear it proudly. .
