I am definitely an introvert. I could go for days without talking to another human soul and not be bothered at all. Loud places, crowded with people are incredibly overwhelming to me in a certain moment. If I do happen to find myself in a crowded room, there will always be a time in the evening where I know it's time for me to go home and be alone. That's how I am and that's fine.
It used to be really obvious. I would avoid talking to people unless they directly talked to me. Small talk was something I did not enjoy. I wasn’t good at it, frankly, and I didn’t try to be. I was known to avoid loud, crowded places unless it was a necessity. I would go straight home after I had spent the bare minimum of time at a party.
I am not like that anymore. I talk to strangers I don’t even know. Small talk is not even remotely painful anymore. Loud and crowded places still overwhelm me, but I power through the very best I can. I am purposeful about all of those things for two reasons.
The first reason is simple; I may not like ANY of those things but I can certainly do those things. Just because I do not appreciate the art of networking at a cocktail hour does not mean other people don't. They most certainly do, especially in business. I am undercutting myself and other people when I don't engage, simply because it may not be something I am naturally comfortable with. It will not hurt me to strike up a conversation with people I don’t know. All it takes is a simple, “Hello.”
The second reason is one that took me a long time to think through. One of my goals every day is to leave the people I meet better than I found them. This could mean leaving them in a better mood or in a better state of being overall. This goes for everyone, not just people I already know.
I can't do that if I am hesitant to talk to them. I can't do that if I wait for them to say hello. I can't do that if I am avoiding loud, crowded places like the plague. I have to be willing to engage with the people around me. That is a choice I personally have to make.
Some days are definitely harder than others and I choose to step out of my comfort zone fewer times than I should. With that being said, I still put an emphasis on engaging those around me because it is important. People have inherent value and they should not have to earn my respect. They deserve my respect and attention.
People deserve to be seen. When people talk we need to listen to their reply and actually hear what they are saying. Many times we just wait until they are done speaking to say what we want in order to keep the conversation going. This does not count as being engaged. This counts as doing the bare minimum.
So the next time you see someone in line at the grocery store, have a conversation. They might just surprise you.
