According to Teen Vogue, the average female loses their virginity around 17 whereas the average male loses his virginity around 16. Attending a small high school that did not have any sort of sex ed (aside from a lecture my freshman year about the dangers of sending naked pictures of yourself) not only showed me the imbalance in the way boys are treated when they start having sex compared to when girls do.
Back to the lecture my freshman year, girls and boys in the freshmen class were separated into two classrooms. The girls were spoken to by the school nurse and the school's resource officer. The resource officer went on to talk about a different high school where one girl's naked picture had spread to over 200 people. The nurse then showed us pictures of different STIs but did not offer very much information other than the idea that sex would lead to ALL of these diseases. Later, all the female students found out that the male students received a lecture about self-defense and drunk driving. This was the first time I ever thought that their was more concern over a girl's sexual choices than a boy's sexual choices.
When I lost my virginity, I began to notice that negative stigma even more. Despite the fact that I lost my virginity to my boyfriend-- who is also my life-long friend, people still spread nasty rumors about me. My boyfriend was awarded with applause and questions all about my performance, as if these bystanders got some sort of satisfaction over something they played no role in. I was bombarded with cruel insults. I was called a slut 10 times in one day. I was fourteen.
My experience is one felt by many girls all over the country. The majority of teenage boys can enjoy their teen years, years that are meant to be fun and be full of "firsts" and experiences, whereas many teenage girls are shamed for the exact same situations. There is no problem with boys being able to have fun in their younger years, but the problem arises when females are expected to shield their sexualities unless they are married and having sex for the purpose of reproduction, while boys are expected to be having sex in their teenage years. Schools promote this gender inequality; whether that be deliberately or not. Whether that be in the states that promote abstinence only education and dehumanize females who decide to get abortions or in the states that hold girls to different standards in the question of sexual situations.
Schools need to make a more conscious effort to not only promote the health side of sex ed but also the social effects that go along with a sex education class. "Fear mongering" is an expression that girls in my school use to describe the way the school has attempted to talk about sex to us. When I ask boys how they feel about our school's sex ed, they say that the school promotes safety and makes them feel comfortable asking questions. Of course, my one experience is not the nationwide standard but many teenage girls from all over the country will describe feeling similarly about their school's sexual education courses.
