"Do I look like a slut?"
There have been so many times that I’ve heard this when girls are getting ready to go out to a club. They’re normally in a Little Black Dress with some killer heels and dark makeup. They look good but our society makes us uncomfortable when it comes to owning our sexuality. What exactly does a slut look like? What I’ve come to realize is that it’s completely subjective; anyone can look like a slut to anybody else. Slut-shaming has become way too easy to do and extremely dangerous.
Slut-shaming is defined as the act of criticizing a woman for her real or presumed sexual activity, or for behaving in ways that someone thinks are associated with her real, or presumed sexual activity. Basically, it’s about making a woman feel less and adding a label to her because of the amount of people she may sleep with and how she presents herself. When we call a woman a “slut,” we demoralize her into an item that anyone can have. Slut-shaming can be extremely obvious or it can be very subtle. Subtle slut-shaming can take form in telling a girl to have a little more respect for herself if she wears short shorts or a low shirt. It can be calling a girl overly-aggressive for making the first move, or telling women that there's a "wifey" type and that there's a type that you only talk to for sex.
There is a clear double-standard with sex concerning men and women. Men are seen as “studs” when their body count is high and less of a man if it’s low while women are seen as sluts if their body count is high (more than one or two). This has always been the most ironic statement to me because how are men supposed to keep their body count up if women have to be pure?
Slut-shaming leads to a world where “rape culture” is extremely apparent. If a woman is a slut and has sex with anyone, anyone feels entitled to her body. In the Steubenville rape case, a young girl went to a party and was gang-raped by multiple classmates while one of them recorded the entire thing. The girl was drunk, way past the point of consent and the rapists were respected school athletes. The video went viral and because of that, the girl was named a slut and harassed by her peers. There are plenty more cases where girls are passed out drunk at parties and get pictures plastered all over social media, at school the next week or wherever else, and are labeled as sluts. Our society has an unhealthy lean toward victim-blaming and slut-shaming rather than looking at cases as a crime.
As a society we need to do everything we can to end slut-shaming. Women should be able to own their sexuality unapologetically and without fearing repercussion. At the end of the day, as long as it was consensual, who cares what her body count is? Who cares what she is wearing? Not conforming to societal standards does not mean someone lacks respect for themselves and does not reduce them to an object. We need to start respecting everyone’s safe consensual choices about their lives and about their bodies. Own your sexuality, girl!
