“Oh you look great! Did you lose weight?” In today’s world, this is one of the best compliments you can hear. Having someone notice that you’ve lost weight, or seem to have, is a huge confidence boost. But it’s not a compliment to everyone. Those who see themselves as overweight will often tell “skinny” people how jealous they are of that body. But what no one has considered is: how does it make the “skinny” one feel?
Ever since I was born, at just 6 lbs. 1oz, I’ve been underweight. Throughout my pre-teen and teenage years I was always under the projected weight. I distinctly remember days in middle school when girls would ask me what I was doing to stay thin. But during other classes, the girls who considered themselves to be overweight would stop me to ask me if I was anorexic or if I made myself throw up. The truth was, I ate whenever I got hungry and I was always hyper so I never sat still. Every girl at school, especially in middle school, thought that being thin was the most important thing and the only way to catch the attention of boys. So I was always the thin one, but also the one to get bullied for not having much fat on my body. I couldn’t win.
I grew up thinking being thin was the greatest thing. Everyone at school picked at their meals to try and avoid overeating and got overly excited when it came time for gym class. So having a naturally fast metabolism came back to bite me. I got bullied throughout middle school for being thin, just because it’s what everyone else wanted. Once high school came, verbal bullying was a thing of the past, for me at least. But not a day went by where I didn’t have at least one person ask me how I stayed so skinny. “Skinny” became my most hated word. I’d look in the mirror and wonder how on earth anyone could aspire to have a body that looked like mine. Being “skinny” didn’t mean self-confidence wasn’t an issue. I still picked out every tiny detail about myself that I disliked. I would still wonder what it took to be one of the popular girls. But I never, ever, understood.
I know plenty of people who fit the definition of “skinny” and each one is self-conscious about a million other little things, including weight. When someone says, “Wow, I wish I could be that thin!” all it does is make me think about all of the other things about myself that bother me. It’s not a compliment, especially to those of us who can’t really control it. Sure, I have days where I can eat for 24 hours straight. Some days are food days. But I have a fast metabolism. I can’t do much about it.
I guess what I’m sick of is hearing people say their goal is to be skinny. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and be healthy. But the key word is healthy. There are plenty of “skinny” people who eat fast food and chips all day. So no, that isn’t a healthy lifestyle. Some people can’t lose weight without some help and there is nothing wrong with that. But a goal in life shouldn’t be to be skinny. It should be to be healthy.
Fat shaming is definitely a thing. But so is skinny shaming.
