From the time I was a kid until my freshman year of college, I was underweight according to the Body Mass Index (BMI). I never weighed over 100 pounds and I stand at 5' 3". What people don't understand is the struggles girls like me face. I am not here to say "big" girl problems don't matter, but to share the "skinny" girl story too. I just want to provide prospective.
As a preteen to young adult, I have always been told my voice doesn't really count on body issues because I'm a "stick." As a gymnast and dancer, I stayed small, but because of my weight, I saw a lot of my bones in the mirror and in my leotards. My rib cage could easily be seen. I could "eat whatever I wanted," according to other people, but the weight never stuck. My senior year of high school, I was a whopping 95 pounds. When I'd try on dresses for prom, I didn't have the boobs to hold anything up. I was a size zero and wore smalls.
Every girl's dream, right?
No. Not at all.
When I gain weight now, it's a celebration. I am now 126 pounds, wear a size 5 and medium-sized clothing. I'm not big, but I'm finally healthy. People still put me down for my size by saying they'd love to be my size, but what they don't know is that it has been a long and hard fight to get to were I am today with my body. It hasn't been easy, and even though people don't know, it still hurts to be put down for being "small" when I really have come so far.
The first photo in the top left is a transformation picture from my freshman year of high school to senior year. The bottom left picture is a picture from fall semester of my sophomore year of college, and the right picture is me a week before Thanksgiving this year (2016).
After being called a twig constantly, I now look in the mirror at my new healthy body. I don't see my ribs, but love handles and a no longer flat stomach with my gymnast abs. I have mermaid thighs that have been shaped by my weight gain and gymnastics years. I have stretch marks where my body has filled in. I still push and prod at my body like every other girl wishing away unwanted areas. The truth is that after being called a twig my whole life, it's still hard to see the healthy and probably beautiful body I have when I still feel like I need to have a model's tiny body. Some girls are jealous of my body size, but they shouldn't be. Every body is beautiful. Aside from that point, other people shouldn't be jealous because every single body has a struggle to get where it needs to be and a mind and heart trying to catch up by learning to love their bodies. Some of us have to work harder to be healthy.
It's hard to love the healthy body I have when the idea that I have to be the skinny one has been ingrained into me. The truth is everyone struggles with body image. Big girls have issues because of their weight and wish to be smaller. Skinny girls wish they could be thicker and have issues to being underweight. A lot of health issues are related to weight, just saying! All I am asking is for society to stop putting the skinny girls down because they're skinny, and I am not just talking to guys, but to the girls who put us down because they are insecure too. We are all more than our bodies. We need to empower each other. All I'm asking is for people to think of the "skinny" girls too. Where there is a "big" girl struggling with her body, there is a "skinny" girl who is facing the same problems, just from a different prospective. Some people who are all for body positivity are body shaming "skinny girls" by saying things like "real men love women with curves, only dogs love bones" and many other shaming quotes. Just Google some of them. It's not okay to put down the "skinny" girls just to make the "big" girls feel better. Every girl struggles with this and some of the campaigns for loving your body are just hurting girls like me more.
Love the "skinny" girls and their stories too.
