I understand very well that first impressions constitute our judgments of others. They're inevitable. Even the type of shoes someone wears can immediately form a bias in an onlooker's mind.
From a very young age, I've learned that first impressions mean nothing. I take myself as a prime example. In fact, I sometimes wish that I could listen to other people's thoughts when I show them old pictures of myself because I'm curious about what they think about on first glance. Is it that my skin is so pale for an Indian?
I grew up in an Indian household with Hindu customs and traditions. As far as I know, I am 100% Indian, genetically and culturally. However, people don't believe I look Indian because of my fair skin. In that way, I'm a sort of mystery to my peers. Although I don't look Indian to others, I don't exactly look Caucasian, either (my dark, defined eyebrows are dead giveaways, a trait I'm most certainly proud of). Most people are too afraid to ask me where I'm from and if they do, the answer I give is never the one they were expecting.
For as log as I can remember, I've been confused about my differences. I don't look like my Indian friends or even my family members. I've done my fair share of Google searches, trying to find someone else, anyone else, like me, who could share my sentiments. I've felt hurt, even enraged when people automatically assume and define me as someone that I'm not. And I've realized that stereotypes play a huge role in others' perception of me. Generically, an outsider would state that an Indian has brown skin with black hair and dark brown eyes. And even I can admit that I don't fit that stereotype. Although stereotypes can help individuals make sense of an unfamiliar world, I hate how they can control our perceptions of others.
I've even had other Indians my age tell me that they wish I had my fair skin and hazel eyes, but they're all missing the point. By making those comments, they're feeding into the whitewashing of society. By wanting to physically conform to a white majority, they're forgetting their heritages. Not to mention, they will never understand how difficult it can get to walk in my shoes. There's not a day that goes by that I don't encounter the tension between stereotypes and reality, even in the slightest ways. To me, my physical identity serves as a blessing and a curse.
Do I find myself wanting to fit stereotypes? Not in the slightest way. I've come to accept the fact that I defy expectations and I embrace it. I love my differences and I find amusement in watching people's confused and surprised expressions when I reveal to them that I'm Indian. Because in the end, it doesn't matter what I look like from the outside. My skin color doesn't define me.
So the next time you interact with a stranger, don't be so quick to form a judgment because chances are, you don't know the full story. By sharing my own experiences, I hope to contribute to a more accepting society.
