Losing a loved one or close friend can be very difficult. This is especially true when their loss occurs suddenly, adding to the shock of the blow. For me personally, February 2nd marked eight months since the loss of my good friend Alec, and some days the wound feels as fresh as the day I got that terrible phone call. Because dealing with loss is such a tricky thing to do, this article will be discussing ways to combat effects of grief and how to keep on living when it might feel like your world is falling apart. Whether it is hours from the death of a loved one or years, the aim of this article is to alleviate some of that pain and make things a bit easier.
Step One: Breathe.
This step seems to be particularly difficult right after the discovery of the loss of a loved one, but can still be challenging as time goes on. If you feel like you can't breathe or like there's a weight on your chest, don't panic. Take a deep breath. Try to put as much oxygen in and out of your lungs as you possibly can. If needed, repeat this until you at least feel like you can breathe normally. Grounding yourself in this way will help you to step back from the throes of grief a bit.
Step Two: Don't be afraid to talk about it.
The people around you care about you very much and know how you are feeling. Almost everyone on this earth has lost someone. Bottling up what you're dealing with is unhealthy and will harm your mental health even more than the loss itself. Talking about how you feel or even discussing the person you've lost can be a step in the right direction for dealing with your feelings.
Step Three: Take care of yourself.
The rush of tasks you certainly don't want to be doing, such as funeral preparations, can often sweep you up. Keeping busy is good, as it will help you to keep moving and stop your mind from thinking too much about the one you've lost, but you cannot forget to take care of yourself as well. Overworking yourself in a time of grief is never good nor safe, and asking for a moment of pause to collect yourself is never a bad idea. Your friends and family will understand.
Step Four: Seek solace in those who understand.
Being around people who are experiencing the same loss can help relieve some of your pain. Swapping stories and remembering the life of your loved one is a good way to fondly remember the person you have lost while also creating a more positive environment for your overworked emotions and brain to dwell in. However, as mentioned in step three, don't be afraid to take some time for yourself away from others if you need it.
Step Five: Allow yourself to move forward.
Dwelling in the past can be damaging to you. It is tempting to remain in a time where all was well, or even to allow yourself to drown in current grief. But life goes on, as painful as that may seem. Allow yourself time to grieve, yes, but also allow yourself to move forward with life as it demands. This will help with the process of coping with loss and will also help to keep you busy, which is valuable when thoughts are prone to drift back to territories that will inhibit the healing process.
Step Six: Give yourself time.
Coping with loss is not an easy thing, and it certainly doesn't occur all at once. You will not wake up one day and be over the loss you have experienced; it doesn't work that way. This step also coincides with step five, as moving forward will help alongside the passing of time to ease your pain, at least somewhat. "Time heals all wounds" may be cliché, but is applicable in this sense. Some days you may wake up and feel just like the day you discovered someone you cared about had died, but with tips like these, life can be a little easier on those days and every day in between.
