Most people in a relationship would tend to agree that the worst part about being single is that you do not feel “love.” The word itself suggest that we are alone. However, I am single and I receive love every single day. I receive love from my family, my friends, but most importantly, from myself. In fact, what I have learned the most about being single while everyone else is in a relationship is how to love myself unconditionally because no matter what, I have to wake up with myself every morning and go to bed with myself every night, no matter who is on the other side of the bed. I know how to look myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see even though I do not feel perfect. I know that even though I have insecurities and imperfections, I am worth my own love. In fact, in order to be in a healthy relationship, one most love oneself in order to know their own worth. If you do not love yourself or do not know how to, you will never know how much you might be giving up in a relationship where you are not being treated to your value as a human being.

So, if we get passed the idea that the worst part of being single is not being loved, then, what do I consider to be the "worst part” of being single?

Society.

As a sociology student, I can say with somewhat certainty that the basic reason there is so many problems in the world is the society itself. Our society as a whole teaches us the norm from the “weird” and it has taught us to basically hate ourselves until we feel pretty and loved by other people. Society has not only taught us that you have to be in a relationship to be happy, but they also enforce it in every social aspect of life. For society, you are not complete until there is someone next to you, ideally of the opposite sex (but thank god, that is slowly changing and you can love whoever you desire to now), who goes with you to parties, helps you pay the bills, gives you children and holds your hand in public.

When I was in kindergarten, I had my first altercation with society on this topic. As many of you may recall, everyone gets married in kindergarten for at least an hour or two during recess time and even if you are just married for that one hour, you are the coolest kid in recess. I never got married in kindergarten because I was too tall and none of the boys wanted to be my husband, so I slowly started to realize how being alone was affecting me. My second altercation came around the time of my junior prom in the eighth grade. As a girl, it was expected that I would wait until a boy would ask me to prom. Coming into the realization that there might be a repeat of kindergarten for this occasion, I told all of my friends that I was planning on going by myself. However, I was surprisingly invited by a close friend to go with him to the party. When everyone in school found out, I had 15-min of fame from all of the girls that had been yet to be asked and felt jealous that I had a prom date and they did not. Then came the famous Valentines days in high school where everyone received roses and chocolates and serenades through the school intercom. This time it was my turn to return the jealousy at all of the girls who received a life-size version of a puppy stuffed animal and roses during lunch period.

This routine of who was jealous of who continued for me until I came to college and realized how AWESOME it was that I was not leaving a boyfriend behind and that I came with the liberty of being whoever I wanted to be. I realized if I wanted a box full of chocolate I could go to Walgreens and buy it myself because I love myself and I deserve to treat myself.

This led me to ask myself why I still felt bad that I did not have a boyfriend, and I came to the obvious conclusion that the only reason I felt so horrible about myself was because everyone around me was making it seem like I couldn’t be happy by myself. In kindergarten, they talked only to the kids who got married in recess, I was only popular in middle school when I got asked to go to junior prom and the only girls who received attention in high school were the girls who received chocolates and stuffed animals. We made ourselves believe that being in a relationship was cool and having someone by your side was the norm because being by yourself can only mean your promiscuous or a freak.

So, guess what society… I’m spending Valentines Day single and I cannot be in a more committed relationship to myself, my family, my friends, my school, my job, and MY LIFE. I am in a relationship with life.