Congratulations, if you are reading this then you are most likely single because why else would you want to know how to be single? Whether it is a fresh wound or you've been out of the dating game for a while now, it's all going to be alright. You may not think that being single is a blessing, but it is. I know it sounds cheesy but I'm here to tell you how to be single and the benefits that you have right at your fingertips.
1. Entertain yourself!
Take this first tip how you will. What I mean by entertain yourself is find something to keep you occupied. Whether it is downloading a dating app like Tinder or Bumble or taking up a new hobby, find something to take up the time you used to spend with your significant other! There is nothing worse than just laying around, thinking about what used to be. Get up, get out and have some fun. Prove that you don't need them, because guess what — you don't!
2. Go out!
Whether it is on a date with someone new, an old friend or one of your girls (or guys) — get out of the house! You guys broke up, it's okay. Find someone new to occupy your time. And no, I don't necessarily mean a significant other, it can be someone who is just a friend. Hanging out with your friends is so important, single or not, because without them you would be alone and that is the last thing anyone wants.
3. Learn to be completely independent.
This is crucial. No matter how long your last relationship was, you were dependent on them at some point in time for something. Well now that you are single, it's time to be completely independent. It might sound scary not to have someone to rely on in that way anymore, but trust me when I say this — being independent and self-sufficient is sexy. Nobody wants to date someone who isn't okay with being alone. I love to be alone. Whether it's for an hour here and there at night or a full day, everyone needs to be able to be alone. If you aren't comfortable being alone then you won't be successful in a relationship.
4. Invest in others.
This can be extremely beneficial because it can prepare you for your next relationship, a job or anything really. We were made to want to be in relationships. That is just our nature really. When you are single, spend your time and energy that used to be spent invested in a significant other into to your friends, family, co-workers and even random strangers. I know that sounds weird but if you use your new found free time wisely, you will benefit from it. You will become a better version of yourself, you will learn to be more patient, to love better and be more understanding. This is something that some people don't think to do after a breakup or when they are single. They don't think to go invest their time into others. Even if you're not single, this is still something you should be doing.
5. Self-reflect.
Whether your relationship ended on a good note or bad, take some time to think about it all. Think about what went wrong, what went well, what you wish you would have done differently, what you would change, things you would never do again and things you wish you did do. This can be eye-opening because no one wants to repeat the same mistakes over again. Don't sit around saying that you regret that person or the time you spent with them because you learned something from that relationship. You learned what you deserve, you learned what you don't want in a significant other and you learned how to be a better partner. These things that you will discover in self-reflection will help you in all relationships, intimate and not.
6. Be yourself.
You are single. 100 percent your own person and on your own. There is no one else in your life that your decisions should be based on or around. You shouldn't be dressing to impress them anymore, or doing your makeup just to watch a movie, or pretending about anything at any point just because you are dating someone. You are now free to be you. Don't get me wrong, I love getting all dolled up for the right occasions or just making myself feel like America's Next Top Model every once in a while, but do it for you not because someone else needs you to. You were made the way you were for one reason — because God thought you were beautiful in just that exact way. If He wanted you to be different than who you are, then He would have made you that way. But He didn't. He put that mole there, He made you quirky, He intended for you to wear glasses, He wanted you to have bad morning breath — embrace it. Embrace you. If someone isn't willing to love you for you, then they don't deserve you. Quirks, blemishes, bad breath and all. You are you, and you are good enough for the right person.
I hope that all of you fellow single ladies (and gentlemen) out there realize that being in a relationship shouldn't be your number one priority. Don't get me wrong — it's something that we probably all desire but it doesn't define us. It doesn't make us any less or any more of a person. Those in relationships aren't better than us, or happier than us. We need to stop thinking of ourselves as alone or not good enough simply because we aren't in a committed relationship. In fact, being single is good. We are getting more time to better ourselves for the one who we are supposed to spend forever with. Now I'm not saying that if someone comes along who strikes a spark in you, that you should turn them down. Absolutely not, take the chance. But if it doesn't work out, just remember how to be single. Remember that they were a lesson in your book of life and you are now back to spending more time working on yourself. Being single is a good thing because one day we will all be wifed-up and this freedom will be gone. Enjoy it and embrace it while you can.
