Having a significant other will make you feel complete. This idea is so prevalent that it has become a societal norm. The importance of a romantic relationship is not only portrayed in television series, books, and movies, but also on reality TV. We watch women and men fight for the attention and love of an individual, and in doing so, we typically see them embarrass and degrade themselves on national television. We are a society obsessed with romantic relationships, and also one terrified of the notion of being alone.
Being in a relationship and being in love is not the same thing. You should not have to be in a relationship to feel complete. And, without a doubt, happiness should not be determined based off one's relationship status.
Here are eight advantages of being single:
1. It gives you time to not only learn about yourself, but to love yourself.
It is so important to discover who you are and to learn to love yourself uncondinitionally. To love another is wonderful, but you cannot truly do so without learning how to love yourself. In order to have a healthy relationship with others, you must have one with yourself first.
Find out who you are, what you like, what your passions are. Be satisfied with where you are in your life, and do not rely on others to bring you that satisfaction. Having a significant other should only add to your happiness, not create it. Define who you are, and do not depend completely on your significant other. If your relationship ends, you don't want to feel lost because your identity was tied to your partner.
2. It allows you to focus on your goals.
Whether you are still in school or in the workforce, use this time to create a foundation for a successful future. I am not saying that individuals in relationships do not have the time to accomplish their goals. However, being in a relationship takes a lot of time and effort, and at times, relationships can be just one more distraction added to your already busy life. The right relationship will fall into place when you’re ready, so make sure you put yourself first and set yourself up for success.
3. It gives you time to expose yourself to other people.
Not only is it important to understand who you are, but it's also important to learn about other people as well. While you are young, you should be exposed to various dating experiences. While it is nice to be in a committed long-term relationship, having the time to date and expose yourself to different people allows you to realize what you want and what you don't want in a significant other.
If a dating experience does not turn out how you expected, don’t be disappointed. Sometimes finding the right one takes time and a lot of searching.
4. You’ll have time for yourself.
When you are single, you will have time to truly focus on yourself. Be as selfish as you want—take this time to grow as an individual. Once you are happy with yourself, you will not look to others for happiness. Taking the time to better yourself will also allow you to be ready for when the right person comes along.
5. It shows that you do not settle.
For some reason, many people assume that people who are single are lonely, upset, or incapable of finding someone that is right for them. But really, it can be quite the opposite—these people aren't willing to alter their expectations or settle. While you should always expose yourself to different dating opportunities (as I mentioned above), that doesn't mean that you have to settle for every guy that offers to take you out to dinner. Wait for the man or woman that meets the standards you have created through past dating experiences. Realize what you deserve and wait for the right person and you will never feel like you are settling.
6. You've learned to become independent.
Going to an all-girls high school, I was repeatedly told to “be an empowered young woman.” As high school students, we often laughed when we heard this phrase—not realizing how crucial of a concept it actually is. Being independent is important in every aspect of one's life. Not all relationships last, and we have to learn not to be dependent on an individual’s company for happiness. Your future partner will respect that you have a life and interests other than him or her.
You have to realize that you are in control of your emotions—no one has the ability to make you feel happy or sad except for you. Do not become reliant on anyone other than yourself.
7. You have more time for friends.
It can be quite difficult to balance time for both your friends and significant other while in a relationship. While it can be done, most people tend to drift away (whether minimally or significantly) from their friend group—often spending their Friday and Saturday nights watching movies or going on date nights with their partner.
Take this time to build life long relationships with those around you, especially in college. The friends you make during and after college are the ones who will always be there for you (especially when an ex-partner will not be).
8. You aren't stuck in the wrong relationship.
Being in a relationship that you are not happy in is far worse than being single (hopefully you are starting to realize being single is NOT bad from the above points). Rushing into a relationship or committing to the first person that shows you interest will not add to your life in a positive way.
A functional and great relationship will never inhibit you or your life, it should only add to it. It should not add stress or pain, it should just intensify the love and happiness that you have already built for yourself. Just remember- it takes time to find the right person, and you should never be afraid to wait.
“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.”- Carrie Bradshaw
