We’re all used to it. The dreaded holiday dinners with constant inquiries from different family members, the high expectation of a flirty, spontaneous summer fling, and the constant reminder that yes, you are in this alone. But are you really?... in it alone, that is.
This is not a smash piece for those two lovebirds on the park bench, or the happy couple holding hands as they stroll down the campus sidewalk (believe me I am happy for you), but rather an ode of empowerment for those of us who haven’t yet found the one.
I used to think that college was for just that, finding the one… but it wasn’t until I got here that I learned how it can be for exactly the opposite- finding yourself.
I have always been sort of a hopeless romantic, but that being said, my standards have never been short of being set to the top. This has led me to a life of constant hope, and inevitable let down when I realize that yes, once again- the male population has ceased to impress me.
I am here to tell you why being single in college has made me the happiest I’ve ever been:
1. I’ve gotten to know myself
When you’re in a relationship, you are focusing so much on the other person that sometimes you can lose touch with yourself.
Being single has given me the opportunity to become my own best friend. Yes, this sounds sort of sad, but I promise you, it’s kind of awesome. As they say, you can’t love someone else before you love yourself.
I am so familiar with my likes and dislikes, interests and quirks, that when the right one does come along, I’ll know exactly what I want. The best time in your life to get to know yourself is NOW.
2. It has made me more confident
I know what you’re thinking- "How???" Well, being single has provided me with all the time in the world for self-care and improvement. This is the only time in my life I will get to be selfish, and I have taken full advantage of that.
Right now, focusing on becoming the best version of myself has boosted my confidence to a whole ‘nother level. Plus, lets face it- it doesn’t hurt your confidence being able to flirt with whoever you want, whenever you want.
As you already know, college is the NUMBER ONE time in your life for meeting people. Meet all the people, all of them- as many as you can! You never know who you will meet, and you never know when the girl sitting next to you in class is Oprah’s cousin (yes, this actually happened).
I never thought it would be possible to connect with so many people, and I have all the time in the world to do it. Since I’m not focusing my energy on one main relationship, it has given me time to focus on forming several new ones, and also further cultivate my already existing friendships.
This year has been life changing for me when it comes to realizing how important good friendships really are. Your friends that you make now are going to be some of the people who will stand by you forever, and at your wedding day when you finally do find Mr. Right.
Being on my own has inspired me to try so many new things that I would’ve been afraid to do in the past. I feel that right now is the perfect time to experiment with as many new experiences as I can.
There is something so freeing about trying new things on your own, once you get past the initial panic of “Am I actually going to do this?!” This has provided me with knowledge of courage that I never knew I had before.
Being single has helped me realize that right now, the only people I need by my side are family, friends, and the Man upstairs. This comes with getting to know myself more, and being alone has really given me time to dive deeper into my faith.
Because I don’t have a romantic relationship to work on, I have really spent a lot of time working on my relationship with God- and we have become pretty close! I know that He is one man I can count on, and I trust Him to lead me to another one to count on as well.
So… to all of us who may feel like we are stuck in an endless pit of singleness and might as well walk around with #ForeverAlone pinned to our foreheads, hold your head up high. Being single is pretty great.