As a 21 year old, in my fourth year of college & having just decided what career path I want to take, sometimes I just wish I could skip the college phase, and already have a good job and family of my own. (Especially whenever everyone is asking you when you'll graduate, and you don't really know the answer.)
What I have realized lately is that if I stay focused on the end result and not the process, then I'm gonna miss out on so many things. I can't live my life constantly wishing to fast forward.
But that is so much easier said than done. It gets really hard a lot of the times.
God gave me the desire to be a wife and mom a long time ago, and its something that I am so excited for and I can barely wait.. but waiting is all that I seem to do.
One of my best friends growing up got married last year and they just had their first baby on the September 8th, and by the end of 2017, three of my closest friends will be married. Everyone around me is going through the process that I wish I was in, but here I am. Completely single and no hint of that in sight. I have struggled with asking God when it'll happen for me and why I have to wait so many times. For years I have asked Him why, and a few days ago He answered me and showed me very clearly what I should be doing instead of questioning Him and His will for my life. I shouldn't be worried about the future, but instead I should be praying about it and asking Him for patience, and asking Him to prepare my heart and mind so I can be the best wife and mother for my family.
So to all the girls who are like me and sometimes feel like they're going to be alone forever, remember these things that have been helpful reminders to me:
First and foremost, just because you are single and maybe you have been for awhile does not mean you are ugly, an annoyance, undateable or undesirable. Your relationship status does not determine your worth.
Second, never ever settle. Don't let anyone tell you that having standards is stupid or that they are too high. It is better for you to know exactly what you want and exactly what you will expect out of someone. The higher your standards are, the less heartbreak you'll have because you won't settle for someone who would hurt you.
Third, guard your heart and be patient in your waiting process. Every boy that blows your way won't be the kind of person you should spend your time getting to know. That goes back to never settling. You never want to dig yourself into a hole because you didn't see where he stood with God before falling for him. If you are a Christian and he is not, run the other way, no matter how kind or charming. "Dating discipleship" is not a thing, and in the end it will only cause you pain.
Fourth, as cliche as this is, there will be a day when you meet the guy for you that makes you understand why it never worked out with anyone else. All the pain and heartaches won't matter I believe that 100%.
Fifth, focus on God and what He wants for you. It makes life so much better and way more clear if you stay on His path for your life and not what you think is best. Thats for anyone though, single, married or whatever.
Sixth, always have hope. Keeping pushing through even when you don't want to. Don't ever give up on God's plan for you!
And seventh, God's timing is always better than our own. He knows exactly when and where everything is going to happen in your life. His plan for you is better than anything you or even your mom could dream up for your life. Trust in that. We have to learn to be content alone before we could ever be happy with another person. The more we focus on loving God, the easier it will be to love other people.
"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Romans 8:25
