It seems that the further along in your twenties you get, the more people take notice of your relationship status or lack thereof.

I am turning 30 in less than four months and it seems as if more and more people are paying attention to the fact that I have been single for over six and a half years now. People close to me try to encourage me to get back in the dating game and even attempt to set me up with someone.

I have tried to meet some people on dating apps like Plenty of Fish in the past.

Nothing from those endeavors have panned out. I see people around me get desperate and use dating apps on a longer-term basis. Honestly, the idea of trying a dating app and/or website these days is rather daunting and can be expensive.

Would I want a significant other in my life? Sometimes I ponder the potential benefits of having someone new in my life. I often feel that the cons outweigh the pros of being in a relationship. Some people can jump from relationship to relationship. I am not like that.

I guess I should now be real about why I am still rolling with the single life.

Living, especially living and dating can be expensive as hell. Dinners, holidays, presents, etc. really add up to some big bucks. Not only do have to worry about spending money for a significant other, but I also would have to potentially worry about spending money on their family members as well. I am certainly not made of money. In fact, my net worth is well into the negatives due to credit cards and student loans.

I have to fix a number of flaws about myself before I want to introduce someone else to the hot mess that is my life.

I have a considerable amount of debt to pay off over the next several years. I suffer from anxiety that actually has an impact on my daily life. I can barely love myself, let alone someone else.

I have insanely high defenses stemming from things that have happened in the past. I am damaged goods.

I am intimidated by intimacy. A part of me really does not want to go through the steps of establishing a romantic relationship all over again. I do not want to have to go through all of the firsts all over again. The first date, the first kiss, the first "I love you", and so on. The first time I told someone I loved them was kind of forced, so that's cool I guess. I have gone from being someone who loved hugs and physical affection to loathing those things. I have become rather cold in the affection department, except with my cats.

I am selfish as hell. I am an only child.

I may not be the selfish brat I was as a nine-year-old, but twenty-nine year old me can still have her selfish tendencies. I do not usually like to share. I like to do what I want when I want without worry about anything or anyone else. I do not want to have to check in with someone before I do something.
Maybe one day I will find the one, but I am not holding my breath.