For most of my young adult life I have been terrified of the prospect of being single and alone. I have been in a long term relationship since I was in high school and now for the first time since I was 17 I am not in a relationship. I have decided to take my time with being single, using this time to find myself and learn how to find my own happiness and for the first time in my adult life not rely on anyone else for my own happiness.
There is a lot of things you learn when you are single, the biggest thing is that everyone but you wants you to be in a relationship and are be okay with being with you being single. Everyone is asking if you’re talking to anyone or if you’re going out on dates. “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” No! and I don’t really want one either. Being totally honest dating today is even more of a nightmare than it was back in high school, and I think I’ll wait a while before I put myself out there into that mess. I’m perfectly fine with basically dating myself right now if we’re being honest.
There are some cool things that come with staying single, one being that you basically get to put yourself first all the time. You get to focus on yourself for the first time in forever and it feels really good not having to constantly worry and stress over another person. You literally can “treat yo’ self” whenever you want to. I haven’t figured out if this is a side effect of being single or just getting older, maybe it is a combination of the two, but I am genuinely happy with myself and I have gained confidence within myself that I haven’t ever had before.
I mean being single is by no means perfect or a long term way of life for me, but it defiantly has surprised me. Yes it can be lonely, but loneliness doesn’t mean sadness, and that is one of the biggest things I have learned so far. I have friends that are there for me to keep me company and occupied when I start to feel overwhelmed, stopping me from wallowing in my own self-pity that use to happen when I was single in the past.
I’ve learned so much about myself while being single, and I'm taking this opportunity to grow as a young woman. I’ve learned about how strong I am and what I can handle on my own. I feel like taking this time to stay single and find myself will help me be a better partner whenever I do decide to date again, because dating will still suck and I’d like to get it right so I never have to do it again.
