For starters, I've always been comfortable on my own.
It's always come natural for me. I love company, yes, but I definitely place high value on the time I spend alone to recharge my batteries, to refocus and recenter myself. I've gotten shame for this in the past; labeled as odd or a loner because I'm not too dependent on other people. That can be just as off-putting as being clingy, let me tell you.
When this quality was presented to me as a flaw in high school, I tried desperately to change. I didn't understand why I was so comfortable but uncomfortable in my own skin; why I didn't necessarily need anyone to walk with me to class or the bathroom like my friends did, why I was ambivalent to fading friendships when it did actually bum me out, why I took things personally but put up a front and went about what I needed to do.
As for romance, obviously this why I remain single. As I was once willing to put up with unfair treatment by those I love, I no longer wish to do so. I understand my worth, I know what I deserve, and it would be foolish of me to settle for less. I'm a girl boss and that's intimidating! I have goals that I put above of everything else and I also don't see the point in wasting my time with people who I don't feel strongly about. This is offensive to some men, because let's face it, they can be really needy (go ahead, give me heat for that!) The problem is I just can't give more to someone other than myself. Why am I supposed to apologize for not giving you enough attention when you can give yourself what you're craving? Refusing to settle for less has been my key to happiness and has allowed me to sincerely value who I am. I make my own decisions and my own mistakes without another person's fingerprints on them.
I've grown up to embrace my independence in a way I had never done so before. External validation does not guide me, I can navigate myself and validate myself because I know that at the end of the day, I am always enough.
I'm still human and a social being! I typically love every beautiful creature that I interact with, but we all only have a certain amount of energy that can be allocated. See, I've endured enough in the past, and I will not take any more than I have to.
Life is short and worrying about who chooses to stick around for the ride isn't my prerogative. I try to work as hard as I can to maintain friendships, but there are people who are unwilling to put in the same amount of effort. There will be people who love that I'm independent and there will be people that hate that about me. As much as I'd prefer to not be hated, I can't control what every individual thinks of me. Learning to find peace in that reality is a major key to happiness.
So no, I will not apologize for being independent and I will not apologize for being goal-orientated or driven. Call me a narcissist or whatever you'd like, I don't care because I'm just doing me.
